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    dots Submission Name: The Mind and It's Workings.dots

    Author: CourtneyLynne
    ASL Info:    23/female/Washington
    Elite Ratio:    5.37 - 74/70/56
    Words: 205
    Class/Type: Prose/Misc
    Total Views: 973
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1246

       Written late at night while i was hyped up on energy drinks- had about six. so I'm not sure about this one, but i like it, kind of-

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsThe Mind and It's Workings.dots

    Searching for immortal words among our daily dish,
    A plethora of languid lines all screaming for one wish,
    that which is a healing grace to mend our broken hearts,
    form into a gleaming shield from all the broken parts.
    A shield which heals the soul inside and keeps it locked away,
    keeps it warm and safe inside, away from livid day,
    the one good thing that turns us bad, as though that makes much sense,
    the one good thing that keeps us wound and keeps our shoulders tense.
    Perverse desire to make us hurt to know that we're alive;
    Intense desire to make it right, we're learning to survive,
    to strive to work for life, for love, for frank reality,
    to live to love and live for life when life is only me.
    For centered in my heart of hearts there lives a madness deep,
    a dreadful festered paradigm living while I sleep,
    talking only of it's hate, it maligns my heart in pain,
    running in halls through my mind that I can't ascertain,
    a million frozen figurines I created with my head;
    quirky figures born of fear, embodiments of dread,
    They come to life- late at night and make me wish I'm dead.

    Submitted on 2008-11-13 16:15:53     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      This is so fluid that I very much think that it attests to how much skill you have in writing.

    You used diction that definitely surpasses the ones I see day to day.

    Wish it had a bit more meaning though... it seems that you kind of created the meaning as you wrote, rhyme by rhyme. (I do the same thing, we both know this :P )

    oh... and a slight request.

    maybe make it "we're learning to survive" rather than "we're learning how to strive"
    | Posted on 2008-11-15 00:00:00 | by Passionbyapathy | [ Reply to This ]

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