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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: lie on the walldots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: PoeticNonsense
    ASL Info:    20/f/around
    Elite Ratio:    3.82 - 205/215/100
    Words: 150
    Class/Type: Poetry/Death
    Total Views: 493
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 798



    Description:
       who says murder is not an art?


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotslie on the walldots
    -------------------------------------------


    Cut my soul into far smaller pieces:
    so much easier to devour
    than the hole. Strangle me with your
    spider web as the swan
    sings to break a heart. You listen like
    the fly on the wall as the
    words escape my dead frozen lips. I
    was so pretty before the
    mask twisted my face and my words.
    With one smart slap you
    reminded my breath to stay on its
    knees and beg for an end.
    You murdered my teddy bear and
    ripped him to shreds, though
    he never meant any harm. My blood
    has turned black and who is
    to say that murder is not an art? You
    proved as much to me. So
    sorry that it should come to this, but
    really, you brought it upon
    yourself.




    Submitted on 2008-11-13 16:16:01     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
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    ||| Comments |||
      I liked all the imagery and the creative wordplay in this. Especially:
    "so much easier to devour
    than the hole. Strangle me with your
    spider web as the swan
    sings to break a heart."
    Very nice writing there. The whole piece really painted this overbearing and controlling relationship. Another good line I remembered is:
    "You murdered my teddy bear and
    ripped him to shreds, though
    he never meant any harm."
    Is that about murdered innocence? If so, hats off to that (the poetry of it not the murdered innocence of course :) Well like I said, good job, you use your words well to paint quite the picture. You probably could have gotten even more tastefully violent. Well, keep up the good work.
    | Posted on 2008-11-13 00:00:00 | by bkj43 | [ Reply to This ]


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