Dreamer's Lament by Blue Monk

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Submission Name: Dreamer's Lament dots

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Author:	Blue Monk
Elite Ratio:	7.85 - 576/251/75
Words:	51

Class/Type:	Misc/Misc
Total Views:	154
Average Vote:	No vote yet.
Bytes:	334

Description:

Dreamer's Lament dots

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Whence comes our dreams from in the night
angels divine or fairies bright
their passage made between the ways
which favors night moreso than days

within dark shadows these bards stalk
and in our minds creation mock
within a timeless slumber, yet
for all of this we soon forget

Submitted on 2008-11-15 01:50:36 Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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1: >_<
2: I dunno...
3: meh!
4: Pretty cool
5: Wow!

||| Comments |||
  The rhyming isn't cheezy which is always good. I'm a dreamer myself so I could connect with this.
I think the only thing I can find wrong is the lack of comma's at the end of the lines. And the full stop at the end.
But that's it. Well writen and enjoyable.
| Posted on 2009-08-05 00:00:00 | by fictionalfiend | [ Reply to This ]
  you message is about dreams are excellent , just go a little deeper into the poem to draw a image so the vision can appear real , good poem
| Posted on 2009-03-31 00:00:00 | by JoJoCrab | [ Reply to This ]
  I wonder why dreams work this way,
to revel all night, then flee from day
leaving the mind with only dream's traces
a faded album full of forgotten faces.

Quite a little thought-provoking write, Blue.
Thanks for sharing it.

| Posted on 2008-11-15 00:00:00 | by latentlylyrical | [ Reply to This ]

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