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    dots Submission Name: Self-inflicteddots

    Author: Abby Sinthetic
    Elite Ratio:    2.75 - 177/230/53
    Words: 30
    Class/Type: Misc/Depressed
    Total Views: 976
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 203

       I don't know....this is really lame. It was supposed to be a song.......

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.


    the essence of life
    Drawn with a knife
    From within my veins.

    Feeling like ice
    I find it quite nice,
    As I draw my last breath.

    Submitted on 2004-07-09 14:02:10     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      hmmm...it's really cold. i mean... like a house made of glass and black marble with the a/c waaay up so the ice statues won't melt. i don't know. i'm obsessed with blood. sshhhh don't tell anyone. but... i mean this isn't weighed down by anything. it's not utter ranting. it's so childishly simplistic that it demands to be taken seriously. sorry for the crappy comment i'm kind of out of it and the room is off-balance right now. i just felt like saying something.
    | Posted on 2005-07-19 00:00:00 | by lukewarm | [ Reply to This ]
      not lame. it's good. the whole dark feel is really effective in most poetry. ya, it's short, but i didn't feel it was "incomplete". i liked it good work.
    | Posted on 2004-10-23 00:00:00 | by kair | [ Reply to This ]
      well, i always hate the negative stuff, but i've read this poem a thousand times on different pages...and this is almost too simple and vague...there's nothing wrong with suicide poetry, however, I do believe that there is so much of it out there that each piece need to be thought out and very unique...maybe be more descriptive with your imagery...sorry sweetie, but I'll definitely check out more from you.
    | Posted on 2004-07-09 00:00:00 | by Kristina9178 | [ Reply to This ]
      I always find it amazing the amount of poetry that deals with drawing the final breath and what that feels like and I always wonder how the time was found to jot down these last thoughts into a poem as the blood was draining from your lifeless body. I suppose it could be dictated into a recorder and someone else can write it down after they find the body. Sorry!

    No, it is not a lame poem and as far as suicide poetry goes, it is not bad. Short and to the point and very blunt. I love minimalism and think you did well expressing yourself in simple line form.

    | Posted on 2004-07-09 00:00:00 | by angela~ | [ Reply to This ]
      Short, possibly incomplete, but i think it''s pretty good, perhapos the length of the poem is resembling how the person in teh poem has a short life, like the poem? or maybe i'm reading into this too much. Anyways, i liked it.
    | Posted on 2004-07-09 00:00:00 | by Elegy | [ Reply to This ]
      you know... really... you said it all here... in 8 lines... like... the whole cutting/suicide/self harm poems that go on and on and on and on and on and yet in the end only say what you have said in 8 lines... most comments on this say its incomplete but i think i disagree... why cloud the point with crap? anyways... i hope your world is going a whole lot better than it may have been when you wrote this or evern better that you completely made it up but yeah... take care of you...
    | Posted on 2004-11-01 00:00:00 | by Someones Epiphany | [ Reply to This ]
      I hope this is only fictional, a release and not something serious...I'm sorry I haven't been around. I just read your journal..I hope you are okay.
    | Posted on 2004-07-15 00:00:00 | by joe quinn | [ Reply to This ]
      This poem is waaay too short. Add more imegry and metaphores. Also, don't force the ryming...make it flow. You got off to a really nice start though, keep it up
    | Posted on 2004-07-15 00:00:00 | by demonickitten87 | [ Reply to This ]

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