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    dots Submission Name: I Can't dots

    Author: stormybluerose
    Elite Ratio:    4.52 - 31/37/23
    Words: 52
    Class/Type: Poetry/Depressed
    Total Views: 584
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 359

       I finally gave up trying.

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsI Can't dots

    the girl who seemed unbreakable
    the girl who seemed strong
    the girl who always laughed
    the girl who never who never ave up trying
    Finally Gave Up
    a tear ran down her
    cheek as she
    whispered to herself
    "I can't do this anymore."

    Submitted on 2008-11-16 20:01:26     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      AWE! I loved this i am gonna fave it! LOL! Anyway its short but creates great emotion! Great Write!
    | Posted on 2008-11-19 00:00:00 | by Demon__666 | [ Reply to This ]
      Strong stuff in short words. Line 7, you've repeated "who never" (not sure if that was intentional) and it should read "gave".

    The format gives the words impact. But cliché though it may sound, you really should never give up. Life smiles down at you when you least expect it.

    Take care,

    - A.I.M
    | Posted on 2008-11-18 00:00:00 | by AIM | [ Reply to This ]
      I like it
    | Posted on 2008-11-17 00:00:00 | by teekie | [ Reply to This ]

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