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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: The Liedots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: col13x
    Elite Ratio:    2.26 - 119/300/559
    Words: 193
    Class/Type: Poetry/Betrayal
    Total Views: 377
    Average Vote:    4.0000
    Bytes: 1428



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsThe Liedots
    -------------------------------------------


    The Lie

    Has this candle lit vandal come tearing its lament
    To augment such weary marches of sorrow
    All weeping configured the fingers of fate
    To turn molded clay to the empty vessel of a soul

    Heartless gold plated grinning reminder
    Of shattered silk doors of sin
    Thrown wide to deceitful imperious walls
    Where scratched each breath of hope and denied the softest touch

    Foul echo of triumph born by flightless wings
    Its truce delivered on the drunken mutterings of fools
    Nailed in their fickle easy clamoring
    For tasteless gilded shells and inconsequent meaning

    By mediocrity dazzled in consummate tears
    So readily bloated fall in their thick passages of treasure
    Broken amidst perfumery and powders wasteland of plastic
    Triumphant beguiling of salvation

    The perceiving vista procured to grand a compromise
    Belittled in the preference of trash
    Agreeing on indistinct monuments
    And shunned the solitary deliverance of truth

    Inescapable nondescript insipid vandals
    Bemoaning their wretched use
    And defiled by fate their heartless whit
    To ignorance is made consummate

    All proposal of the innocent
    Gathered to worshipful psalms
    On a blankets bland demand of deceit






    Submitted on 2008-11-18 18:04:02     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      Overall I thought this was very good. I did feel that you went a bit overboard with the words and it came across as a little pretentious, but then, what do I know?

    It read like a more old-style type of poem, which I liked and it flowed well.

    In conclusion: I liked it!

    | Posted on 2008-11-19 00:00:00 | by alexboy | [ Reply to This ]


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