[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: Clean cut and boarded. dots

    Author: BestxDeceptions
    ASL Info:    22, Female, Kentucky.
    Elite Ratio:    2.22 - 25/66/50
    Words: 135
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 955
    Average Vote:    5.0000
    Bytes: 967


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsClean cut and boarded. dots

    The edges harden
    and the blur of the moon
    slows its spill.
    My eyes close.

    Peaceful dreams
    of nothing or everything
    and the truth that they bring
    speaks a new clarity.

    Loving memory, or
    loathsome harnessing of
    times and actions and the
    words that spoke volumes.

    Nothing matters when the
    day fades, and it doesn't matter
    what the TV sings. I am just

    Moments of ignorance make
    life the unforgiving creature that
    it is. Every action backtracks
    to you and over again.

    I haven't done anything
    momentous. I haven't overthrown a
    country. I haven't inherited a
    small world.

    Call me crazy but when
    I think about all the bad
    it just makes me crave the
    good in you. A kind shelter.

    Submitted on 2008-11-20 03:20:17     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      "I haven't done anything
    momentous. I haven't overthrown a
    country. I haven't inherited a
    small world"

    I like these lines. The flow of the poem could be a bit better and the ending more precise. But this was a good read nonetheless. Keep writing!
    | Posted on 2008-11-21 00:00:00 | by Paradox | [ Reply to This ]
      i like your bleak and how you manipulate it in the end almost like a finger to your bad how you put hope besides matter of facts i love how you pulled a light out of dark if it ended anyother way it would have been predictable which it didnt and i like what you say about backtracks very clever it says alot without flooding the point nice
    | Posted on 2008-11-20 00:00:00 | by zepposzag | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]