Description: I wrote this after I had a freak out and almost killed my self, i was exactly like the first line in the second stanza sitting on the ground with a knife in my hand.
Escaping from the world
in one selfish act
stabbing your self once
and never looking back
Sitting on the cold ground with a knife in your hand
As your shaking with rage, it all about to end
Thinking about the people that you would call friends
Take control over your self
As you began to cry
Tears poor down your face
As you pounder why
The thing you once loved
will never be back
So why continue to sacrifice
if its is all over why not end it now
so you feel no pain
but they really love you
or do they just lie?
Thats one fact you need to know
before you end your life
But you don't really know
oh, there goes the knife!
I like the poem it is very creative, I love the why you describe the thoughts of someone going through those things. Over all the flow was great as well as the rythem. One tip would be to eliminate words that are not needed to make it sound good, like take out "with" the line really doesn't need it. It still sounds good though in my book on a 1-10 rating I give it a 8.5.
Submission Name: Suicide
