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    dots Submission Name: Farewelldots

    Author: BlueTorcher
    Elite Ratio:    4.67 - 79/97/96
    Words: 181
    Class/Type: Poetry/Serious
    Total Views: 809
    Average Vote:    2.5000
    Bytes: 1142


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.


    Phone rings through the air
    Even though no one hears
    Dead silence no sound, no fear
    In this once cheerful place

    Body carelessly slumped on the floor
    With two wide cold eyes
    Staring out from the head
    Trying to reach the sky

    No one notices, No one cares
    As a life slipped by today
    A girl just like any other, who was hardly of age
    Tired, ragged, and through with life

    Dried tears litter her face
    Yet no one would have know
    From her carefully placed facade
    To upset to hide
    To upset to try

    Let down by all she loved
    They were the ones who watched her fall
    Her shining personality
    Her weird and crazy ways

    Its a surprise no one saw her
    Begin to waste away

    No longer wanting, no longer hurting
    But running from it all
    I know realize that her spirit was turned small
    And bllown out at the flick of a hat

    Goodnight, Goodbye, and Farewell
    To the little helpless girl
    Who now burns in hell

    Submitted on 2008-11-22 19:01:43     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

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    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      have fun in hell.

    truth hurts.
    | Posted on 2008-11-23 00:00:00 | by truthserum | [ Reply to This ]
      i quite enjoyed reading this. i know its a bit profound to say that we've most all felt like this before, but i liked this one, it reminded me of when i began writing. really liked the last stanza. keep up the good work

    also 2nd line in the 4th stanza
    "yey no one would have know"
    i think you had a few grammatical errors.
    | Posted on 2008-11-23 00:00:00 | by save me | [ Reply to This ]

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