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    dots Submission Name: mother earthdots

    Author: awastedsky
    ASL Info:    22/f/AZ
    Elite Ratio:    5.1 - 116/151/98
    Words: 123
    Class/Type: Poetry/Depressed
    Total Views: 719
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 832


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    dotsmother earthdots

    mother earth, strike me down if you please
    nothing's left for me on your humble soil
    your creatures turned their back on me
    and my life's unstable turmoil.

    i'm losing ground and presently dissolving
    and no arms are outstreched and begging
    and i'm scared to admit that i'm lost at this moment
    and i'm waiting for the end with impatient resolve

    mother earth, these tears down my face are genuine
    but you're the only one i'll face with it
    mother earth, wrap me up in your arms please
    i'm too weak to climb my way up to you

    mother earth, i can't take this anymore
    it wasn't meant to be
    i'll do anything if you'll
    lead me back home

    Submitted on 2008-11-23 07:19:35     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      You had rhyme going for you in the first stanza, but that seemed to come to an abrupt stop in the next stanza and you didn't rhyme at all anymore. You should try and continue the rhyme.

    | Posted on 2008-11-23 00:00:00 | by Renč Magrete | [ Reply to This ]

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