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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: At War With Myselfdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: JoelWhite11
    ASL Info:    16/m/Nunya
    Elite Ratio:    5.51 - 2/1/1
    Words: 121
    Class/Type: Poetry/
    Total Views: 941
    Average Vote:    3.7143
    Bytes: 712



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsAt War With Myselfdots
    -------------------------------------------


    Im through with this life as my own worst Enemy,
    No matter what, Nobody even remembers me.
    My own mother Started to dis me now,
    And It really pisses me off.

    Tell me, Have you felt as I feel?
    Is the Gate to Your hearts Sealed,
    By hate, and despair, Lies and Illusions?
    I dont think so. Im Becoming Loves Slave.
    It wont let go, So now im begging On the Floor,
    Yelling,"NO!".
    But it Doesnt even Help. Only one Person can.
    He bit the Dust Three Weeks ago.
    He was My first Older Brother. How can I Live Without him,You Know?
    If You Do Just Give me a Shout.
    Ill see you later.Im out.





    Submitted on 2008-11-23 14:46:58     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Hm, this was very interesting. I have to say that I enjoyed it, period. A very good rap, Let me see if I can find anything wrong with it...
    I do understand the (rap) talk or use-age in the rap. Normal, understanding. You really let the subject out. Sad, but also enjoying. You may have gotten hurt, but I liked reading it. You could improve it such as; And It really Pisses Me off.) I don't know whats with the upercase? Lol. Maybe if your emphasizing(sp?) the words, I don't know. Great rap, keep it up Joel.
    | Posted on 2009-02-04 00:00:00 | by Sunnehbabe | [ Reply to This ]
      FYI ALL!!This is a Rap!
    | Posted on 2008-12-05 00:00:00 | by JoelWhite11 | [ Reply to This ]
      Nice, Joel! I see how nice you can write.. Well, keep on writing and ill keep on reading. Lol i only commented because koda said it was good and then I need some generosity. Well it was good and ill see ya around joel. Wait ALLI LOVES YOU! Lol she says it all the time. lol well see ya later.. bye joel. Joel is so awsomely cool!! WEWT!
    | Posted on 2008-11-30 00:00:00 | by AussyKun | [ Reply to This ]
      JOooooooell. It's sweet, as in awesomely cool.
    I looked at it becaus eit was on dani's fave's now it's goin on mine.
    | Posted on 2008-11-28 00:00:00 | by LanndonJames | [ Reply to This ]
      
    | Posted on 2008-11-23 00:00:00 | by JoelWhite11 | [ Reply to This ]


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