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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Serenity?...dots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Hecate
    Elite Ratio:    4.24 - 13/16/10
    Words: 148
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 110
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1019



    Description:
       Very rough. Please give advice!
    (If anyone actually reads the descriptions.)


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsSerenity?...dots
    -------------------------------------------


    again you are walking through the streets
    of dark and dusky london

    shuffling feet trying to escape
    the birds that gather in the corners,

    the alleyways.

    how strange it is (you think) to know
    the slightest breath of wind could
    dislodge

    and send scattering
    the letters of your name,
    the story of your life,

    your hope,
    your fear,

    this origami of yourself which is constantly folded and unfolded,

    worn at the edges,

    oily
    with the sweat of your palms.

    what is there to
    stop the wind
    from ripping all the careful journals of your life
    to up, away?

    what is there
    what possibly is there
    to stop the ungentle and ungracious wind
    from stealing away
    your soul’s crumpled paper airplane?
    what is there to stop the wind
    from finally setting it flying?




    Submitted on 2008-11-24 21:44:18     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      I really liked this. It deals with a theme that is very universal which people tend to write about a lot, but it wasn't the same old poem everyone writes about who we are, where we are going ect. and I liked the way the poem fits together. I could really picture myself in the situation, walking down the street and questioning the meaning of my existence. Also I thought the metaphors/imagery were effective.
    Personally I wouldn't change anything
    Well done,
    Gid.
    | Posted on 2008-11-25 00:00:00 | by Giddy | [ Reply to This ]



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    January 10 07
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