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Frailty


Author: bkj43
ASL Info:    22/m/va
Elite Ratio:    3.92 - 119 /140 /79
Words: 135
Class/Type: Poetry /Misc
Total Views: 893
Average Vote:    No vote yet.
Bytes: 850



Description:


consciousness


Frailty



If I were not a man,
I know not what I'd be
Maybe a river frozen,
Stagnate for eternity.

A mountain,
Born of rock and time;
Home to so many,
But the shadow I cast
Is the only effort of mine.

A tree,
Growing, doing what I must;
This leading and needing for that
I put up no fuss,
It is only act, act, act.

A bird,
I ask for another
Through this pointed hole;
I hop and fly around,
A worm my utmost goal.

Beast of imagination,
As tangible as a dream;
Any sound of the ear,
Any sight of the eye;
Never knowing between the truth and a lie.

I am what I am
I bleed when I fall;
Eternally blessed I am
To see beauty in all.




Submitted on 2008-11-25 02:41:42     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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Comments


  A woman, perhaps?

This is a really good write, the concluding stanza probably what gives it such depth. It takes a long time to be content with what you are, but it's true. We are the only creatures to recognise the beauty in others. And, as a woman, I recognise the beauty in this poem.

A wonderful poem, I applause you.

- A.I.M
| Posted on 2008-11-26 00:00:00 | by AIM | [ Reply to This ]
  I don't know what it is.
I liked this a lot,

but there was something...off.

I think it's your rhyme scheme, it seems really forced...

nevertheless, this is a very good piece.

This is a hideously short comment, shame on me.

peace.

-CC
| Posted on 2008-11-25 00:00:00 | by CourtneyLynne | [ Reply to This ]
  I feel really bad if I read something and absolutely adore it, but don't comment. Truth be told, sometimes the beauty and the wonder you feel while reading something is so unearthly that you simply can't put it into words.

To put it simply, I liked it. A lot. I don't know why I liked it, but it stirred something unexplainable but good in my imagination.

But, in an attempt to be a little more helpful, I can tell you that this is my favourite stanza:

"Beast of imagination,
As tangible as a dream;
Any sound of the ear,
Any sight of the eye;
Never knowing between the truth and a lie."

It made me think of spirits and magic - both good and evil - and, for some reason, wolves. But that could just be because I like wolves. Pretty much triggered an image of mists and swirls of fogs and those random wolves in my mind O.o god i'm strange.

Keep it up, I really liked it.

~Love Iffy
| Posted on 2008-11-25 00:00:00 | by Iffy | [ Reply to This ]


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