This site will self destruct in 2 months, March 17.
It will come back, and be familiar and at the same time completely different.
All content will be deleted. Backup anything important.
--- Staff
Roleplay Cloud -

Sign up to EliteSkills

Already have an account? Login to Roleplay.Cloud
Forgot password? Recover Password


Author: bkj43
ASL Info:    22/m/va
Elite Ratio:    3.92 - 119 /140 /79
Words: 135
Class/Type: Poetry /Misc
Total Views: 893
Average Vote:    No vote yet.
Bytes: 850




If I were not a man,
I know not what I'd be
Maybe a river frozen,
Stagnate for eternity.

A mountain,
Born of rock and time;
Home to so many,
But the shadow I cast
Is the only effort of mine.

A tree,
Growing, doing what I must;
This leading and needing for that
I put up no fuss,
It is only act, act, act.

A bird,
I ask for another
Through this pointed hole;
I hop and fly around,
A worm my utmost goal.

Beast of imagination,
As tangible as a dream;
Any sound of the ear,
Any sight of the eye;
Never knowing between the truth and a lie.

I am what I am
I bleed when I fall;
Eternally blessed I am
To see beauty in all.

Submitted on 2008-11-25 02:41:42     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
Edit post

Rate This Submission

1: >_<
2: I dunno...
3: meh!
4: Pretty cool
5: Wow!


  A woman, perhaps?

This is a really good write, the concluding stanza probably what gives it such depth. It takes a long time to be content with what you are, but it's true. We are the only creatures to recognise the beauty in others. And, as a woman, I recognise the beauty in this poem.

A wonderful poem, I applause you.

- A.I.M
| Posted on 2008-11-26 00:00:00 | by AIM | [ Reply to This ]
  I don't know what it is.
I liked this a lot,

but there was

I think it's your rhyme scheme, it seems really forced...

nevertheless, this is a very good piece.

This is a hideously short comment, shame on me.


| Posted on 2008-11-25 00:00:00 | by CourtneyLynne | [ Reply to This ]
  I feel really bad if I read something and absolutely adore it, but don't comment. Truth be told, sometimes the beauty and the wonder you feel while reading something is so unearthly that you simply can't put it into words.

To put it simply, I liked it. A lot. I don't know why I liked it, but it stirred something unexplainable but good in my imagination.

But, in an attempt to be a little more helpful, I can tell you that this is my favourite stanza:

"Beast of imagination,
As tangible as a dream;
Any sound of the ear,
Any sight of the eye;
Never knowing between the truth and a lie."

It made me think of spirits and magic - both good and evil - and, for some reason, wolves. But that could just be because I like wolves. Pretty much triggered an image of mists and swirls of fogs and those random wolves in my mind O.o god i'm strange.

Keep it up, I really liked it.

~Love Iffy
| Posted on 2008-11-25 00:00:00 | by Iffy | [ Reply to This ]

Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

1. Be honest.
2. Try not to give only compliments.
3. How did it make you feel?
4. Why did it make you feel that way?
5. Which parts?
6. What distracted from the piece?
7. What was unclear?
8. What does it remind you of?
9. How could it be improved?
10. What would you have done differently?
11. What was your interpretation of it?
12. Does it feel original?