[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: The Lover and the Liardots

    Author: dear
    Elite Ratio:    2.9 - 8/16/19
    Words: 227
    Class/Type: Poetry/Serious
    Total Views: 1081
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1293


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsThe Lover and the Liardots

    I fit my hand into yours, your fingers interlocking with mine.
    You told me that my hand fit rightfully in yours.
    We followed some heavily traversed path, made by others before.
    The future you unrolled before me, a fate that I abhored.
    But I let my body toll along, my mind in other places.
    You never knew the girl of whom you risked fate with.
    Warnings were signaled to you from me but you just wouldn't have it.
    Then, without a warning, for you did not notice, I fell to my knees.
    I would not budge, I would not move, not an answer nor a tear.
    You cursed my name and kicked my frame but left me without bruises.
    Ultimately, I pushed you away, splitting our paths from per chances.
    With a sigh of relief and an old grin of defeat, I could once again breathe.
    Well, you told me that my hand fit rightfully in yours.
    But if that were so, then why was my hand never comfortable placed within yours?

    I said love while speaking lies for you weren't open for reason.
    You cried lies with your tongue well trained for false tales of love.
    And I could never really set apart the lover from the liar.
    But from this end, all I can say is thank God the game is over.

    Submitted on 2008-11-26 09:58:33     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      With a sigh of relief and an old grin of defeat, I could once again breathe.

    I can affiliate with this, sometimes a relationship can become constricting, because of lies, maybe, or jealousy. One comes at a point of realization that your freedom is restricted, the own self becomes oppressed. I've had that.
    I still enjoy my newly conquered freedom every day.

    You cursed my name and kicked my frame but left me without bruises.

    The mental abuse, words spoken in ill contempt, meant only to manipulate. When has the balance become so tilted? Another point of realisation and the strength to withstand it to obtain "freedom".

    Whatever reasons, a relationship is built on trust. A lie can shatter so many feeling, that afterwards proves harder and harder to mend, the shards smaller and smaller.

    I really liked this piece, though maybe (and I'm a minimalist so this might just be me) you could tell the same thing with less words.
    Sharpen the poem, as it were.

    | Posted on 2009-12-26 00:00:00 | by Urisen | [ Reply to This ]
      Indeed, love can often be blind, and lies can easily be ignored, forgotten, until they come back to haunt us. An insightful write you have penned here.

    | Posted on 2008-11-27 00:00:00 | by Frank Maguire | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]