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    dots Submission Name: The Enddots

    Author: CourtneyLynne
    ASL Info:    23/female/Washington
    Elite Ratio:    5.37 - 74/70/56
    Words: 251
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 745
    Average Vote:    5.0000
    Bytes: 1586

       hate this one. ugh. but i like it at the same time, kind of,

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsThe Enddots

    Who are we fooling?
    In our contraband of epic lies,
    the lips of Serenity bleeding, forgotten
    spoken too many times with ill will.

    Why do things have to make sense?
    Why does life yearn- for presence?
    Itself, alone, as always- alone,
    we are but entities of destruction,
    a million billion grenades
    set to seal our bitter end.

    But life itself yearns for harmony,
    words that flow and flit like rain,
    like a melody caught in the fingertips
    of a child in a springtime play,
    where metaphors linger as clouds
    on the edge of our eyes with our dreams.

    Dreams of reality,
    as we wish it, where poetry flows.

    Poetry like lullabies that lulls the heart to ache,
    and carry ‘way the dreaded life we have lived to fake,
    all robots in an endless whirl of drab felicity,
    we take our dues when we are through- and never let it be,

    we can’t just rhyme and let our lies set down where they lay,
    we must all conform to find our pieces of this bitter day,
    and form a life from crossword hints- deciding what is right,
    think of things like pillow mints and sweets to make life bright,

    when we should have left our lives
    with our bitter Plight,
    Serenity’s a bitter fool,
    she’s gone from all our sight,
    Now we are but Plight’s great tool,
    to massacre our race,
    to desecrate our hallowed grounds
    and spit right in God’s face.

    Submitted on 2008-11-26 19:58:24     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
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    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      I enjoyed this, because of the theme, the words and phrases are so strong and filled with such intellectual impact. I know the feeling towards humanity that you describe here for I feel it myself a good bit, like we are constantly dooming ourselves and everything beautiful around us, living so selfishly. But, we do have such great potential too. I think my favorite part was:
    "But life itself yearns for harmony,
    words that flow and flit like rain,
    like a melody caught in the fingertips
    of a child in a springtime play,
    where metaphors linger as clouds
    on the edge of our eyes with our dreams."
    Very nice writing right there. The capitalizing on some parts and not on others sort of distracted me and the sudden rhyming at the end caused me to mentally have to change the flow of my reading, don't know if you are wanting that or not. I also like the use of the obscure metaphors and similes in this, like the crossword clues and pillow mints, reminds me of how I try to say things in some of my pieces. Well this is getting long, anyway good job and keep it up
    | Posted on 2008-11-28 00:00:00 | by bkj43 | [ Reply to This ]
      Hmmm. I actually like it. Since I'm very opinionated, I rarely enjoy poetry that degardes humanity in a whole and speaks of life's worthlessness. But this is good stuff. I even agree with some of it. There's a really good closing line you've got.

    - A.I.M
    | Posted on 2008-11-28 00:00:00 | by AIM | [ Reply to This ]

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