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    dots Submission Name: crushed dreamsdots

    Author: scardnscared
    ASL Info:    25/ DFW
    Elite Ratio:    3.1 - 585/498/311
    Words: 152
    Class/Type: Poetry/Serious
    Total Views: 816
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 892


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotscrushed dreamsdots

    I walk down this aisle alone
    i've got to tell the people that we love
    that someone couldn't make it today
    and that someone is you.
    Somehow you blinded me from the start
    showed me love then broke my heart
    told me that it would always be me and you
    now its you and her.
    Where do I stand now
    am I done, out for the count
    or should I try
    but right now its just to hard.
    I watch the emotions cross their face
    as I let them know that you left me
    some surprise and some shock
    but mostly anger and some smug relief
    I guess not everybody liked me.
    I stand here in my wedding dress
    begging god to tell me this
    how did I become the girl in the magazine
    the pretty little thing without a clue
    a pretty little thing without a heart or even a dream.

    Submitted on 2008-11-26 21:45:32     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      This is a great piece. I love how sincere it is. There are a couple places where it could flow better. The prime example being when you wrote:

    "Where do I stand now
    am I done, out for the count
    or should I try
    but right now its just to hard."

    You seem to have a rhyme scheme everywhere in the piece but here.

    I loved this though. Keep writing.
    Katherine :]
    | Posted on 2008-11-27 00:00:00 | by Katherine_Music | [ Reply to This ]

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