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    dots Submission Name: Howling at the Moondots

    Author: Swimming Bird
    ASL Info:    31/m/AR
    Elite Ratio:    5.36 - 92/90/27
    Words: 138
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 1229
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 840

       Ehhh. It feels incomplete, but here it is anyway.

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsHowling at the Moondots

    When I'm out at night my eyes find the moon,
    And I ponder while I stop and stare.
    Is it the wolf in me, or maybe the cat
    That lets my eyes know that it's there?

    Something inside me just screams for her light,
    I need it due to something I lack.
    It fills me with sadness I seem to have lost,
    And kills me each time it turns black.

    So why do I have this necessity,
    This need for her rays on my face?
    It's like some primal urge which keeps calling me
    That only my bloodline can trace.

    She is my lady, the woman of my heart
    So pure that her touch breaks my soul.
    I'm broken to pieces but I dare never leave,
    Because when I'm with her, I'm whole.

    Submitted on 2008-11-27 02:28:19     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      This had a captivating melodious flow which I could really enjoy. The imagery was pleasant, as if spoken just barely above a whisper of course in the stillness of the moonlight. I can see how ones soul comes alive in that quiet and gentle power. Nice version of that.
    | Posted on 2015-09-28 00:00:00 | by lori_tab | [ Reply to This ]

    I was probably looking at that moon the same night. :)

    ...and whenever you are looking at the moon just remember I am looking at the same one...

    And it's beautiful, both the moon, and the poem.


    | Posted on 2008-12-12 00:00:00 | by blankscreen | [ Reply to This ]
      I enjoyed this piece because you first go from consider the moon "it" and then it's as if your passion takes over and you refer to her as "my lady" and "the woman of my heart". I agree the piece needs some work. I'd suggest altering stanza 2, because the first sentance has too many syllables, then the last line is lacking one. I also think you should take off "me" in stanza 3.

    If you edit it, give me a call and I'd be happy to have another look.

    - A.I.M
    | Posted on 2008-11-28 00:00:00 | by AIM | [ Reply to This ]

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