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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Road to destructiondots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Soldier O_Tears
    ASL Info:    18/M/INDONESIA
    Elite Ratio:    2.25 - 41/129/120
    Words: 191
    Class/Type: Poetry/
    Total Views: 459
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1188



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsRoad to destructiondots
    -------------------------------------------


    I passed by the Chinatown
    On a bicycle from a view of binocular
    Molecular in every sight of the town
    It seemed molecular from a binocular

    I kept pedaling to an intersection
    Then i chose left to my destination
    And there was a rioting demonstration
    I dragged into it, I couldn’t find explanation

    There was more fascination into violation
    I couldn't helped it, I was hypnotized to oblivion
    Then I took a plank of a wood a mean of execution
    Then I put a nail in it for some modification

    I left my bicycle on a place that was available
    I turned into a passion that is never been desirable
    Then I Hit, hit and hit every person that i met
    And I roar, roar like a beast, I was considered a threat

    I was turned into a threat...

    Rage driven from my brain
    Running through my blood
    Draining my self consciousness to the end
    I beat oh everybody to death
    I beat oh everybody to death
    Not quite long the riot was finished by me
    Finished by me
    By me
    Then I finish myself......




    Submitted on 2008-11-27 18:17:14     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      It's sketchy at first. I like the feel of almost trance like vulnerability, like a sweet video playing without stop that turns almost ugly near the end. Even though there is harshness in life I suppose you can find beauty in any thing. this line in my favorite
    "I turned into a passion that is never been desirable
    Then I Hit, hit and hit every person that i met
    And I roar, roar like a beast, I was considered a threat

    I was turned into a threat..."

    the misfortune of society, the out come of environment and product of the media. Your poem has a very good point to it.
    The only thing that I can think of to better the piece would be working on your grammar.
    Other then that I like it allot.
    | Posted on 2008-11-28 00:00:00 | by hidden lady | [ Reply to This ]


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    January 10 07
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