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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Falling in Love All Over Againdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Peggy Paris
    ASL Info:    61/F/USA
    Elite Ratio:    4.11 - 747/570/167
    Words: 185
    Class/Type: Poetry/Love
    Total Views: 709
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1036



    Description:
       This one is written using the Pantoum form. The repeated lines are a requirement of this form. It's been quite a while since I've posted anything here but thought this particular poem might be of interest.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsFalling in Love All Over Againdots
    -------------------------------------------


    As tears of joy flow down my face
    Please see the hope that lies within
    When life seems such a trying race
    I long to feel in love again

    Please see the hope that lies within
    I may not be what you desire
    I long to feel in love again
    I may not say what you require

    I may not be what you desire
    I can but be myself with you
    I may not say what you require
    It’s to ourselves we must be true

    I can but be myself with you
    I sense your needs and feel your pain
    It’s to ourselves we must be true
    All else leaves hope for love in vain

    I sense your needs and feel your pain
    I kiss your lips and hold you tight
    All else leaves hope for love in vain
    My heart says that this choice is right

    I kiss your lips and hold you tight
    When life seems such a trying race
    My heart says that this choice is right
    As tears of joy flow down my face





    Submitted on 2008-11-28 04:07:41     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      Hey Sharon! I've missed seeing you around! Thanks for coming by, and for your comments on "What Might Have Been".
    | Posted on 2009-06-04 00:00:00 | by Ron Cole | [ Reply to This ]
      Very well done,

    it flows beautifully and you've made it appear formless by ensuring that the content propelled the poem rather than the need for any given rhyme etc.



    Very Nice
    | Posted on 2009-01-24 00:00:00 | by Daniel Barlow | [ Reply to This ]
      This pantoum was very well executed. So often when adhering to form, that form winds up driving the poem, but that is not the case here. The repeated lines echo your theme, weaving subtly yet surely through your thoughts The small doubts expressed are quashed by the repetition of the positive thoughts, and the rhythm and rhyme both advance the optimistic certainty that” My heart says that this choice is right”.

    Adhering to such strict forms while sustaining interest takes imagination and skill, and you have succeeded in capturing and maintaining interest from beginning to end.
    Well Done
    Silver
    | Posted on 2008-11-29 00:00:00 | by Silverdog | [ Reply to This ]
      Delightful! This for would undoubtedly add an immense extra challenge to writing a poem and keeping to a lucid story and rhyme scheme! You have done well, and this is just excellent!

    Hope you had a grand Thanksgiving holiday!
    | Posted on 2008-11-28 00:00:00 | by Ron Cole | [ Reply to This ]


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