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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Colddots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Maskannai
    ASL Info:    28/Female/Utah
    Elite Ratio:    4.94 - 214/184/78
    Words: 27
    Class/Type: Poetry/Serious
    Total Views: 515
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 168



    Description:
       A thought that came to my mind the other day after I began wondering why people with money always seem to look down on those without it as if those poor people were less just because of their lack of money..


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsColddots
    -------------------------------------------


    Have you ever seen the cold,
    as it trickles through a tear
    in the elbow of your tattered jacket
    and presses a frozen kiss
    against your skin?




    Submitted on 2008-11-28 07:23:39     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      short poem but it has a message and makes you think, we live in an unjust world where money talks, unfortunatley. but i bet there are a lot of folks out there with money and still aren,t truly happy. it can buy you comfort but not happiness.
    thanks for sharing
    bye
    | Posted on 2008-11-28 00:00:00 | by eyeless in gaza | [ Reply to This ]
      I liked this little poem. I especially enjoyed the inspiration for its creation as it is a personal issue that I relate to immensely. I don't have much for criticism except for that Raphael already mentioned about feeling instead of seeing the cold.

    I look forward to reading more of your work.
    | Posted on 2008-11-28 00:00:00 | by jaramae | [ Reply to This ]
      Its a nice little poem except youll have to change the first line from "seen" the cold,to "felt the cold"

    you cant see cold yknow?

    but good work:-)

    -Craig

    PS:It is a cruel world we live in
    | Posted on 2008-11-28 00:00:00 | by Raphael | [ Reply to This ]


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