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Have you ever seen the cold,
as it trickles through a tear
in the elbow of your tattered jacket
and presses a frozen kiss
against your skin?
| short poem but it has a message and makes you think, we live in an unjust world where money talks, unfortunatley. but i bet there are a lot of folks out there with money and still aren,t truly happy. it can buy you comfort but not happiness.|
thanks for sharing
|| Posted on 2008-11-28 00:00:00 | by eyeless in gaza | [ Reply to This ] || I liked this little poem. I especially enjoyed the inspiration for its creation as it is a personal issue that I relate to immensely. I don't have much for criticism except for that Raphael already mentioned about feeling instead of seeing the cold. |
I look forward to reading more of your work.
|| Posted on 2008-11-28 00:00:00 | by jaramae | [ Reply to This ] || Its a nice little poem except youll have to change the first line from "seen" the cold,to "felt the cold"|
you cant see cold yknow?
but good work:-)
PS:It is a cruel world we live in
|| Posted on 2008-11-28 00:00:00 | by Raphael | [ Reply to This ] |