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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Colddots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Maskannai
    ASL Info:    28/Female/Utah
    Elite Ratio:    4.94 - 214/184/78
    Words: 27
    Class/Type: Poetry/Serious
    Total Views: 534
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 168



    Description:
       A thought that came to my mind the other day after I began wondering why people with money always seem to look down on those without it as if those poor people were less just because of their lack of money..


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    dotsColddots
    -------------------------------------------


    Have you ever seen the cold,
    as it trickles through a tear
    in the elbow of your tattered jacket
    and presses a frozen kiss
    against your skin?




    Submitted on 2008-11-28 07:23:39     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      short poem but it has a message and makes you think, we live in an unjust world where money talks, unfortunatley. but i bet there are a lot of folks out there with money and still aren,t truly happy. it can buy you comfort but not happiness.
    thanks for sharing
    bye
    | Posted on 2008-11-28 00:00:00 | by eyeless in gaza | [ Reply to This ]
      I liked this little poem. I especially enjoyed the inspiration for its creation as it is a personal issue that I relate to immensely. I don't have much for criticism except for that Raphael already mentioned about feeling instead of seeing the cold.

    I look forward to reading more of your work.
    | Posted on 2008-11-28 00:00:00 | by jaramae | [ Reply to This ]
      Its a nice little poem except youll have to change the first line from "seen" the cold,to "felt the cold"

    you cant see cold yknow?

    but good work:-)

    -Craig

    PS:It is a cruel world we live in
    | Posted on 2008-11-28 00:00:00 | by Raphael | [ Reply to This ]


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