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Have you ever seen the cold, as it trickles through a tear in the elbow of your tattered jacket and presses a frozen kiss against your skin? |
short poem but it has a message and makes you think, we live in an unjust world where money talks, unfortunatley. but i bet there are a lot of folks out there with money and still aren,t truly happy. it can buy you comfort but not happiness. thanks for sharing bye | Posted on 2008-11-28 00:00:00 | by eyeless in gaza | [ Reply to This ] | I liked this little poem. I especially enjoyed the inspiration for its creation as it is a personal issue that I relate to immensely. I don't have much for criticism except for that Raphael already mentioned about feeling instead of seeing the cold. | I look forward to reading more of your work. ![]() | Posted on 2008-11-28 00:00:00 | by jaramae | [ Reply to This ] | Its a nice little poem except youll have to change the first line from "seen" the cold,to "felt the cold" | you cant see cold yknow? but good work:-) -Craig PS:It is a cruel world we live in | Posted on 2008-11-28 00:00:00 | by Raphael | [ Reply to This ] | |