Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Snow angels and wicked thoughtsdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: ladydeathstrike
    ASL Info:    27/F/Chicago
    Elite Ratio:    5.27 - 259/284/94
    Words: 195
    Class/Type: Poetry/Serious
    Total Views: 533
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1349



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsSnow angels and wicked thoughtsdots
    -------------------------------------------


    Take hold,
    Guide me
    Sinister light.

    (She kneels praying to a hollow god)

    Wondering if sadness is all she is,
    Gripping the life out of faith;
    There is hope yet,
    For salvation.

    Wretched soul,
    Take an oath to never again
    Disobey.

    (Snow angels and wicked thoughts)

    Nothing stands,
    The lights your own,
    The stage you set so nicely
    Captive, mesmerizing.

    (Bite me evil thoughts)

    A barren tree stands amidst
    An empty desolated,
    Street.

    (One day you will believe)

    Her hero,
    The tree,
    And the barren street.

    (She knows she wont survive)

    Naked Babe,
    Among the frozen earth,
    The howling wind,
    On a day like this.

    (Sky clad and hungry)

    She gives in,
    Her hero,
    The tree,
    And the barren streets
    Are left waiting.

    And under that frozen earth,
    There lies the naked babe
    Gripping the life out of faith.
    She finally believes...

    While her hollow god makes her sleep

    Alone

    under a barren tree







    Submitted on 2008-12-01 21:34:34     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      This is very beautiful and thought provoking with a strange religious twist interlaced through it that I found very interesting.. I also think this would make a very interesting monologue as well..
    | Posted on 2008-12-02 00:00:00 | by Maskannai | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    168492

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    going,,,"Skin." written by teika5
    Starseed written by endlessgame23
    Things They (Don't) Say written by TheStillSilence
    Whispered written by endlessgame23
    Not the Devil, but the Wind written by endlessgame23
    Dream written by closetpoet
    (Untitled Song) written by TeslaKoyal
    Untitled written by Daniel Barlow
    no sky on the other side written by teika5
    Compartments written by TheStillSilence
    Ciggarettes written by Poetic_tragedy6
    Adoration written by TheStillSilence
    None the Wiser written by endlessgame23
    Twin Intercept written by Daniel Barlow
    A bit of Pain written by teika5
    Gaia written by endlessgame23
    Snippet written by Daniel Barlow
    Lost Inside the Race written by ForgottenGraves
    // Seasonal Song written by ShadowParadox
    The Curtain Call written by faideddarkness
    Sword in the Water written by Wolfwatching
    a leaf of shadow and edge written by Daniel Barlow
    A Sense Of Things written by Daniel Barlow
    FamiliarDemons ©™ written by kyserin
    The World written by jjd
    Mystery Read written by kyserin
    Lie back & tan written by Daniel Barlow
    Beauty Rest written by jackz
    Verse: written by Daniel Barlow
    To the Artist written by HisNameIsNoMore

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry