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    dots Submission Name: to mr pristondots

    Author: secret kisses
    ASL Info:    22/f/uk
    Elite Ratio:    2.81 - 558/438/138
    Words: 178
    Class/Type: Poetry/Love
    Total Views: 949
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1046


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsto mr pristondots

    you got me hooked with the words u spoke,
    and the way you said my name.
    your touch had me begging for more,
    and your kissed poured over me like rain.

    your eyes made me feel wanted,
    as u looked so deep into mine.
    you said nothing could change us,
    not people not life not time.

    i fell too fast i know that,
    but u said u loved me too.
    i thought we had the real thing,
    but i have learnt that its not true.

    i gave you everything i had to offer,
    i thought i showed you well.
    you had the walls around me broken,
    you had me underneath your spell.

    i've missed you everyday you've been gone,
    and down the line i'll miss you still.
    it hurts to know you have moved on,
    it makes my heart feel ill.

    please note that i dont hate you,
    as you have made me feel so strong.
    and i could never regret you,
    i will love you my whole life long x

    Submitted on 2008-12-03 19:59:52     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      Wow. I like that it doesn't have that bitter taste most writes about a lost love will. It's rather refreshing, I wish my own ex's didn't have that bitterness. I'm glad you were able to take something out of the relationship. Amazing right, very flowy. Good stuff.

    | Posted on 2008-12-05 00:00:00 | by SDodson | [ Reply to This ]
      This is most excellent, indeed! A poignant piece, a marvelous lover's lament, with a slight twists at the end, all brilliantly told with good meter and good rhyme that we too seldom see here... loved it, loved it, absolutely loved it!! michael
    | Posted on 2008-12-04 00:00:00 | by Algol46 | [ Reply to This ]

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