WOW! that is a wonderful poem! Simple, yet has a beautiful tune and rhyme! but I would also try to keep a set amount of syllables per rhyming line, but other than that, it almost made me feel like i was actually there! By the way, DEFINATELY, I think, ORIGINAL!
You make me want to go to although I am already out west (Arizona). I really like the "luck there" unbreathable air" lines. The lightness of mood is refreshing.