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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Travelingdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Lil gal
    ASL Info:    28/F-ya/here
    Elite Ratio:    3.19 - 354/212/35
    Words: 48
    Class/Type: Random Thoughts/Friendship
    Total Views: 83
    Average Vote:    5.0000
    Bytes: 341



    Description:
       I just wrote this and it's kind of corny, but I don't care. I'm counting down the days till I go to California and meet Tiff.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsTravelingdots
    -------------------------------------------


    Heading out west,
    to try my luck there.

    Warmer weather,
    unbreathable air.

    Gonna listen to the music,
    and let my spirit free.

    Ya know...
    let the wind carry me.

    Finally get to meet,
    my lovely friend Epiphany.

    Go me,
    tee hee.




    Submitted on 2008-12-06 07:22:44     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      WOW! that is a wonderful poem! Simple, yet has a beautiful tune and rhyme! but I would also try to keep a set amount of syllables per rhyming line, but other than that, it almost made me feel like i was actually there! By the way, DEFINATELY, I think, ORIGINAL!
    | Posted on 2008-12-06 00:00:00 | by Plegias | [ Reply to This ]
      You make me want to go to although I am already out west (Arizona). I really like the "luck there" unbreathable air" lines. The lightness of mood is refreshing.
    | Posted on 2008-12-06 00:00:00 | by my shadow | [ Reply to This ]



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