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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: In the winddots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: amanda99737
    ASL Info:    16/Girl/Alaska
    Elite Ratio:    1.66 - 14/52/75
    Words: 229
    Class/Type: Poetry/Longing
    Total Views: 90
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1245



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsIn the winddots
    -------------------------------------------


    In the wind I hear a voice.


    A mild howl of a dog...

    In the wind is where I run.

    In the wind I hear calls for me. It's all so distant...

    Against the wind, I am persistent.

    I battle the cold and the fear. In the wind is change.

    In the wind I saw my future. Give me your arms. For just one minuet. Things are getting darker. The wind is getting colder. We can't stop getting older.

    If I could have one thing change... I want to change the winds, the weather my future... I want to change this life given to me.

    ...In the wind I saw a life that would be.

    In the wind I saw a love that would never come.

    In the wind I was lost, I had forgotten myself and didn't dare reclaim what was stolen.

    Against the wind I am persistent, in this world I feel so distant....

    Stand in my way. Make me stop. Pull out of the lane of fire. I need your help.

    Lend me your arms for just one minuet. The wind is getting colder I can't stop us from getting older.



    ~Will finish later, perhaps tomorrow...~




    Submitted on 2008-12-07 09:51:59     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      This is a really dynamic title, and you should definitely work on polishing and finishing the poem! The words and ideas you have put forward in the poem are beautiful, and I think the finished and polished product would be stunning.

    I use the wind as a theme in many of my poems. One that you might like to look at is "The Wind's Song". It is an older poem, so is about 2/3 of the way to the bottom of my posts.

    Nice work, pretty lady!
    | Posted on 2008-12-07 00:00:00 | by Ron Cole | [ Reply to This ]
      I get a feeling of freedom. of wanting to be free. Nice mood. I particularly like the rhyme "distant" "persistent" which works well. I read all your submissions. There are many excellent lines and thoughts in them. - Jim
    | Posted on 2008-12-07 00:00:00 | by my shadow | [ Reply to This ]


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