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    dots Submission Name: sepulchredots

    Author: meoww
    Elite Ratio:    6.75 - 262/258/143
    Words: 260
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 952
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1688


    i dream too much.

    and forget.

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.


    there's endless truth in eyes
    clouded over, looking away as if
    you'd catch this and smile.

    it's incense and pearls on a fine day.
    it's fingers outstretched, searching for divinity in flesh
    and communion in dreaming escapades.
    a house of cards, as always, toppling,
    toppling, rearranged.
    i was never much good at bluffing.
    too enthralled with nights spotting mars and venus:
    perfectly aligned, an orange orb and bright white evening star
    as companions. as scarf to neck. as a grandfather clock
    in a wizened villa, high stud ceilings crackling with decrepit paint.

    there's industry here, voices and endless commotion.
    i would give all of this up, run away to hills yet to be named.
    turn the soil over and plant my childhood once again.
    discover the sugary snap of pea-pods opened by inquisitive fingers.
    steal chicken eggs and marvel at the difference corn and scraps makes.
    to the colour. the vivacity of a utopia i've always dreamed of.
    the thread of skyline, and i with a fish-hook, intent on pulling it in.
    into my shadow, into my daily conversation
    with gaia.

    bread and wine, infused with love.
    grace and mirrors to every angle i touch.
    magnified. blooming. veins filled with silver and life.
    children and laughter, a given. if i were to follow this path.
    escape, and forever escape. light, forever light.



    Submitted on 2008-12-07 22:41:25     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||

    I dream and forget too much as well. I won't give you any criticism but if I were to do so it would involve the word and placement of the word "gaia."

    And then I would spew gibberish and veins and tempera paint all over your page in an attempt to re-create the furies so that I might express how, and how much, I like this.
    | Posted on 2008-12-20 00:00:00 | by lukewarm | [ Reply to This ]
    after the drinks and fine women
    we'll both be light
    but like you, until then
    I'm having my share of fun

    I suppose God or Goddess is just going to have to wait
    until I'm old, and then, I might just be ripe enough
    to be a poet.

    what ever it is I'm becoming..

    | Posted on 2008-12-13 00:00:00 | by nansofast | [ Reply to This ]
      If using imagery is like painting a portrait, I feel like I've walked into a paintball battle- that was really intense. My one query would be the use of 'Sepulchre' as the title; there were definitely one or two allusions to death near the end but to me it was definitely not the main focus of the poem.

    The imagery is so vivid and generously applied throughout that the whole poem seemed to be a swirl of colours, smells, sounds and thoughts. I thought that was a very apt way of expressing human recollection and the power of our imagination to grasp onto the sensory essence of something, and swirl it all together to form a mush of meaning.

    This is helped by the fact that you have the vocab to back it up; the images of the wizened villa... the snap of pea pods... the fish-hook pulling the thread of sky... yum :)

    All in all, a cert for the favourites list. I really enjoyed this, ciao.
    | Posted on 2008-12-08 00:00:00 | by Civilian | [ Reply to This ]

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