I'm so "Sincere
Written In Ash"
whispers through dirigible
words/ vibrate, then fake their
visible (or visual) context--
which cons next--
a side step from the concept
pieces-- but in thesis
times stands immune
to the ways and the sways
delayed down from June--
when I read to you...
I'm a freed prisoner,
that's why i write: for all my-
Amey, Q, K-Girl, J.Dot...
I'm not even going to get on a long list. Thank Yous!
AETLP/TC .... lots of room and space between the lines, to give pauses for thought. Though the poem moved and flowed extremely well I thought. Clever and articulate. Pretty good stuff. Thank you for your comment on Tattoo of Stars.
i like the unorthodox rhyme scheme, the cut-off lines, the obscure subject matter. and i certainly like your use of language when you do choose to rhyme it, particularly dirigible, visible, original, residual. very creative.
it's a freeing experience to read a piece where the structure is so loose and free-flowing. a lot of writers like to stick to a rigid line length and syllable count. it's interesting to see a new take and for it to work. not all poetry needs to be understood by an outsider, and indeed, i admit to not really being able to grasp any discernable meaning to this piece. and that lack of comprehension keeps me at a distance and not fully able to immerse myself in the writing. i guess that's the only complaint i have. it's a useful thing to understand a writer's influences/mood/thoughts on their own creative process; it helps the reader take something away with them long after the poem has been set aside.
thanks for the write.
p.s. Sincerwritinash, for the alias, stands for Sincere Writing Ash, but i like your take on it.