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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Dear Listener (SincereWrittenInAsh)dots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: AeThe Lost Poet
    ASL Info:    19/M/DE
    Elite Ratio:    3.6 - 147/184/122
    Words: 89
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 823
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 661



    Description:
       Yes base off the girl's alias....SincerWritinAsh or Sincere Written In Ash. But


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsDear Listener (SincereWrittenInAsh)dots
    -------------------------------------------


    I'm so "Sincere
    Written In Ash"
    I flash
    whispers through dirigible
    words/ vibrate, then fake their
    visible (or visual) context--
    which cons next--
    so original
    a side step from the concept
    left residual--
    pieces-- but in thesis
    times stands immune
    to the ways and the sways
    delayed down from June--
    when I read to you...
    I'm a freed prisoner,
    that's why i write: for all my-
    Dear Listeners...

    Thank You
    Amey, Q, K-Girl, J.Dot...
    I'm not even going to get on a long list. Thank Yous!




    Submitted on 2008-12-10 22:19:47     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      AETLP/TC .... lots of room and space between the lines, to give pauses for thought. Though the poem moved and flowed extremely well I thought. Clever and articulate. Pretty good stuff. Thank you for your comment on Tattoo of Stars.

    Col13x
    | Posted on 2009-01-14 00:00:00 | by col13x | [ Reply to This ]
      i like the unorthodox rhyme scheme, the cut-off lines, the obscure subject matter. and i certainly like your use of language when you do choose to rhyme it, particularly dirigible, visible, original, residual. very creative.

    it's a freeing experience to read a piece where the structure is so loose and free-flowing. a lot of writers like to stick to a rigid line length and syllable count. it's interesting to see a new take and for it to work. not all poetry needs to be understood by an outsider, and indeed, i admit to not really being able to grasp any discernable meaning to this piece. and that lack of comprehension keeps me at a distance and not fully able to immerse myself in the writing. i guess that's the only complaint i have. it's a useful thing to understand a writer's influences/mood/thoughts on their own creative process; it helps the reader take something away with them long after the poem has been set aside.

    thanks for the write.


    p.s. Sincerwritinash, for the alias, stands for Sincere Writing Ash, but i like your take on it.
    | Posted on 2008-12-23 00:00:00 | by Jacoby | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

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    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



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    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
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