[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: Wish Youe Were Heredots

    Author: Ayane
    ASL Info:    17/F/IL
    Elite Ratio:    2.75 - 71/128/60
    Words: 648
    Class/Type: Misc/Death
    Total Views: 497
    Average Vote:    5.0000
    Bytes: 3617

       R.I.P. Shane Thomas Taylor

    My beloved "Big Brother"

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsWish Youe Were Heredots

    I walked up the isle until I could just see the the rim of his glasses and the bridge of his nose from the side of the casket. No, I can't cry here, not yet. Chris needs me to be strong for her and Travis does too. I forced my feet to keep moving until my clothes were touching the smooth, polished surface of his casket and I immediately knew everything was wrong. His glasses were too clean, his hair was laying too tame, his chin was mashed down against his chest, making him look very uncomfortable. And when I reached my hands out to touch his hands, he was too cold. None of this could be real. I haven't slept hardly in over a week, maybe Sleep has finally claimed me and this is just the strange, horrible nightmare that came with it. But I looked around at everyone shedding tears with their eyes staring toward the ground or to the sky as if waiting for some meaningful answer to all this insanity.

    I looked back down at the closed eyes of my childhood friend. My first borther-like figure growing up. We were going to get our ears pierced together. We were going to travel to see all our favorite bands. But over the years, school and jobs interferred and we grew apart as most friends do. When I heard he was still living in the area, I saw my chance at getting my brother back. Then came the call...

    Here lies Shane Thomas Taylor...I found those words swimming through my head as if it would make me believe it faster. But this quietly sleeping kid couldn't be him. Suddenly I heard "Wish You Were Here" by Pink Floyd playing over the speakers very softly and I looked up to see Shane's smiling face on the overhead screen, proudly sporting his black sock-cap and his 2 8-gauge earrings in his left ear. I became concious of his mother sobbing behind me asking the infamous question to no one in particular. I reached up to my own ear and pulled loose the third gauge ring on my right ear and placed it between Shane's fingers and whispered in his ear,"I'll miss you, Bro" and kissed his cold forehead. All at once, the missing earring became the point where I realized the missing piece of my heart as I felt the rest of it slowly crumbling away. Here lies Shane Thomas Taylor...the dopey kid that I would hunt Easter eggs with, the one with the bowl cut as a kid that never laid flat, the cry-baby that nearly had a breakdown when he was forced to cut his long hair, the one who would sit with me and listen to our brothers' new album of A Perfect Circle, the kid who was never depressed and always found the good in people, my brother...and he's gone.

    I was afraid to leave him suddenly. As if staying or leaving could somehow will the life back into him. I would take two steps toward the door, but then three steps back to the casket. Chris asked, "What are we waiting for?" and without stopping myself, I whispered weakly, "For him to get up." I stood there feeling as if I were falling through the ground but standing very still and not breathing, with 5 earrings instead of 6, an incomplete heart, and wondering if Shane could see me screaming and sobbing on the inside while everyone saw the empty expression on the outside. I reached my hand out to the doorknob and felt the biting winter wind sweep through me at once as Shane's mother called out to me, "Oh honey, I almost forgot. Happy Birthday, Mariah."

    I'm just the other "lost soul swimming in a fish bowl" while Shane's already found the ocean.

    Submitted on 2008-12-11 02:21:10     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      Description was impeccable. Grammar-which I am a sucker for-was normal and dictionary style. I'm terribly sorry about Shane-which probably means zero to you coming from someone who doesn't know you or him, but I know what it's like to lose someone you love. Cry, do whatever you have to-it's alright. No one begrudges you that.

    Best of hopes for the future,

    | Posted on 2008-12-13 00:00:00 | by Shadowstar13 | [ Reply to This ]
      You wrote this very well. The ending was very meaningful. He'd have been proud. It's not much, coming from a stranger, but I really do think that it's fine to cry. Everyone needs that sort of... 'release', once in a while. :)
    | Posted on 2008-12-11 00:00:00 | by whchong | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Vortex: The Imagination That Is written by KeeperOfLight
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (4) written by endlessgame23
    The Poems Death written by Mepoduo
    Journey written by endlessgame23
    The World written by jjd
    When Sirens Whisper written by HisNameIsNoMore
    phantom limbs written by expiring_touch
    Cover written by saartha
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (2) written by endlessgame23
    (Untitled Song) written by TeslaKoyal
    mimicry written by expiring_touch
    Delicious Stews written by elephantasia
    My Four Seasons written by faideddarkness
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (5) written by endlessgame23
    i've missed written by mysalvation
    Carry written by saartha
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (3) written by endlessgame23
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth written by endlessgame23
    Physician, Heal Thyself written by WriteSomething
    Etiquette written by saartha
    Shut Up written by annie0888
    Florida's Autumn Solstice written by closetpoet
    Deep Into A World Of Despair written by DeathTone
    To the Devil and Candle written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Things They (Don't) Say written by TheStillSilence
    The Unicorn written by BlazeFlamme
    Redemption written by poetotoe
    to Be like written by KeeperOfLight
    Honeymoon written by TheStillSilence
    The Old Mill written by Wolfwatching




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]