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    dots Submission Name: untitleddots

    Author: roxygirl239
    ASL Info:    14/f/VA
    Elite Ratio:    3.39 - 450/305/44
    Words: 48
    Class/Type: Poetry/Venting
    Total Views: 1118
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 366

       no description really. mixed emotions. can't really explain (need help with title)

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.


    Tears of curiosity
    Falling from this face
    Of shame
    I'm just like
    The fly in the window
    I'm not gonna
    Go away
    Hide the food
    So I won't spoil
    For everyone
    Head throbbing
    Just make
    It all go
    Dissolve my world
    Take it all away

    Submitted on 2004-07-10 17:53:24     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      hmm, kinda different, like a lot of random thoughts put together, almost like you could take one line from this and create a whole nother poem/thought and it would still seem completely orginal... not sure about a title, but what ever comes to you, almost anything could fit.
    | Posted on 2004-07-10 00:00:00 | by drkpoet | [ Reply to This ]
      i like it. it just gives a brief acount of alot of feelings. i like the fly in the window comparison. as for a title what about doing what i di when i cant think of one. just pic a cool line and call it that. it could be 'tears of silance' or 'the fly in the window'. just something to get the person intersted
    | Posted on 2004-07-10 00:00:00 | by nameless_nobody | [ Reply to This ]
      I am impressed with the structure you chose for this piece of work. It really compliments the style you chose to write in. Also the analogy of the protaganist being akin to a fly was brilliant and really gave the reader a since for the level of depression and outsidesh feelings your talking about here. All and all great poem. I have no suggestions for perfection.
    | Posted on 2004-07-10 00:00:00 | by Mister Fizzle | [ Reply to This ]
      I agree, the structure of this is beautifully fitting for the tone and content of this poem. I really liked this part:

    Go away
    Hide the food
    So I won't spoil

    Maybe for a title "Hide the Food"? Just brainstorming!
    | Posted on 2004-07-14 00:00:00 | by emo-tastic | [ Reply to This ]
      I can tell its mixed emotions, I've wrote quite a similar one to that, its called, would ya believe it...emotions. I like pieces like this, cause they let you get to know the author better than some other styles do. Anyway (your avator pretty cool) good write.
    | Posted on 2004-07-19 00:00:00 | by Anarius | [ Reply to This ]

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