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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: untitleddots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: roxygirl239
    ASL Info:    14/f/VA
    Elite Ratio:    3.39 - 450/305/44
    Words: 48
    Class/Type: Poetry/Venting
    Total Views: 1118
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 366



    Description:
       no description really. mixed emotions. can't really explain (need help with title)


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsuntitleddots
    -------------------------------------------


    Tears of curiosity
    Falling from this face
    Of shame
    I'm just like
    The fly in the window
    I'm not gonna
    Go away
    Hide the food
    So I won't spoil
    Everything
    For everyone
    Head throbbing
    Just make
    It all go
    Away
    Dissolve my world
    Take it all away




    Submitted on 2004-07-10 17:53:24     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      hmm, kinda different, like a lot of random thoughts put together, almost like you could take one line from this and create a whole nother poem/thought and it would still seem completely orginal... not sure about a title, but what ever comes to you, almost anything could fit.
    | Posted on 2004-07-10 00:00:00 | by drkpoet | [ Reply to This ]
      i like it. it just gives a brief acount of alot of feelings. i like the fly in the window comparison. as for a title what about doing what i di when i cant think of one. just pic a cool line and call it that. it could be 'tears of silance' or 'the fly in the window'. just something to get the person intersted
    | Posted on 2004-07-10 00:00:00 | by nameless_nobody | [ Reply to This ]
      I am impressed with the structure you chose for this piece of work. It really compliments the style you chose to write in. Also the analogy of the protaganist being akin to a fly was brilliant and really gave the reader a since for the level of depression and outsidesh feelings your talking about here. All and all great poem. I have no suggestions for perfection.
    | Posted on 2004-07-10 00:00:00 | by Mister Fizzle | [ Reply to This ]
      I agree, the structure of this is beautifully fitting for the tone and content of this poem. I really liked this part:

    Go away
    Hide the food
    So I won't spoil
    Everything

    Maybe for a title "Hide the Food"? Just brainstorming!
    | Posted on 2004-07-14 00:00:00 | by emo-tastic | [ Reply to This ]
      I can tell its mixed emotions, I've wrote quite a similar one to that, its called, would ya believe it...emotions. I like pieces like this, cause they let you get to know the author better than some other styles do. Anyway (your avator pretty cool) good write.
    | Posted on 2004-07-19 00:00:00 | by Anarius | [ Reply to This ]


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