Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Can't You See What You Mean To Me?dots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: NixLacus
    Elite Ratio:    2.45 - 5/11/24
    Words: 125
    Class/Type: Poetry/Love
    Total Views: 1899
    Average Vote:    4.0000
    Bytes: 703



    Description:
       Another one of my strange poems


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsCan't You See What You Mean To Me?dots
    -------------------------------------------


    Canít you see what you mean to me?
    Canít you tell that youíre all I need?
    I just want to let you know
    That my love it grows
    Keeps on growing just for you
    And I donít know what to do

    I feel so trapped inside
    And all I want is for you to make me feel alive
    Youíre going to drive me crazy
    I donít care if youíre getting lazy
    But I need to know now
    Just how
    How you plan making this
    So stop taking the piss

    This is my life
    And I need to know if really want me as your wife
    If this love is real
    Let me feel
    Feel it deep within
    Within this broken heart of mine




    Submitted on 2008-12-11 12:54:05     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      It's a nice poem. Kind of a nice way of calling out to someone, wanting them to know what you feel for them. The guy that was being called out to in the poem would be very lucky for someone wanting to be his wife and showing her true feeling. It's a bit short though, no offense, but you may have showed more about how the girl was showing her love for him and it's a long lasting one, even if not forever, but a long lasting one. It may be interpreted as a cry from an emo girl but it depends on people and at least you didn't express much on what would happen if the girl was rejected. Overall, it's a nice short read.

    ~Rei
    | Posted on 2009-01-29 00:00:00 | by ReikuTohno | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    168815

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (final) written by endlessgame23
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (4) written by endlessgame23
    Blood Stains Are The Worst written by ForgottenGraves
    written by Daniel Barlow
    Cosmic Dreams written by Chelebel
    Push written by JanePlane
    Ache written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Your Lover written by Cordell
    World I No Longer Want written by ForgottenGraves
    More then just goodbye written by faideddarkness
    Devils in the Details written by endlessgame23
    Sleep Talk written by Queen_of_spades
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (5) written by endlessgame23
    Physician, Heal Thyself written by WriteSomething
    AI written by poetotoe
    Or are we written in the sand? written by Chelebel
    True Death written by layDsayD
    Sunset written by rev.jpfadeproof
    written by Daniel Barlow
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (6) written by endlessgame23
    The Severed Head written by HisNameIsNoMore
    I Do, I Do written by poetotoe
    Carry written by saartha
    Whiteout written by layDsayD
    descent written by TheBadSadMan
    Red Barn written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Love written by saartha
    Bee Keeper written by endlessgame23
    Neither Here nor There written by layDsayD
    PEARL (Exclusive Poem) 10th Anniversary... written by Cordell

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry