[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: The Strangest Nightdots

    Author: NixLacus
    Elite Ratio:    2.45 - 5/11/24
    Words: 144
    Class/Type: Poetry/Comedy
    Total Views: 496
    Average Vote:    2.0000
    Bytes: 818

       A strange one xD

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsThe Strangest Nightdots

    I was walking in a park one day
    When from behind a tree there peered
    A strange man and a girl named May
    I stopped and steered
    Off into the other direction
    Then as i past another bush
    There was a man with a huge erection
    He stood there and just said hush

    After i left that strange man i headed off
    Towards the fountain so big
    There i heard a cough
    From behind there was a boy eating a little fig
    As i stared in disbelief at the way this night had gone
    The little boy turned and said
    Hey you want a scone
    Hey can we go to bed

    I was so shocked i was so freaked
    My god this night had been so strange
    I just hoped that that was the peak
    Now people really think i am deranged

    Submitted on 2008-12-11 12:57:14     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      This was humorous. I like how you showed it step by step how you ran into each person. the only critique i really have is that u mispelled disbelief
    | Posted on 2008-12-13 00:00:00 | by poet09 | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Blood Stains Are The Worst written by ForgottenGraves
    cleverly shunned written by CrypticBard
    AI written by poetotoe
    4th Season of Vivaldi written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Or are we written in the sand? written by Chelebel
    Wavelength written by saartha
    Fasade written by jackz
    written by Daniel Barlow
    Before, Now, & After written by SincerWritinAsh
    Push written by JanePlane
    The Severed Head written by HisNameIsNoMore
    written by Daniel Barlow
    Still Fighting See? written by ForgottenGraves
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (7) written by endlessgame23
    Whiteout written by layDsayD
    You do, I Do written by poetotoe
    new moon written by CrypticBard
    written by Daniel Barlow
    102.3 written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Sleep Talk written by Queen_of_spades
    written by Daniel Barlow
    Waiting written by Daniel Barlow
    Dashboard Light written by layDsayD
    Estranged / Shocks written by Daniel Barlow
    Devils in the Details written by endlessgame23
    descent written by TheBadSadMan
    Your Lover written by Cordell
    It's Night Now written by RisingSon
    written by Daniel Barlow
    Brigit written by endlessgame23




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]