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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: When Lifedots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: NixLacus
    Elite Ratio:    2.45 - 5/11/24
    Words: 80
    Class/Type: Poetry/Serious
    Total Views: 483
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 548



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsWhen Lifedots
    -------------------------------------------


    When life gives you lemons
    You make lemonade
    When life gives you apples
    You make apple juice
    When life gives you love
    You make memories
    When life gives you life
    You make smiles
    When life gives you death
    You make experience
    Through all the things life gives you
    You make yourself stronger
    You make yourself better
    You live your life more
    When life throws bad at you
    Live with it and deal with it
    Eventually life will throw something good




    Submitted on 2008-12-11 12:59:02     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      the last bit is the only one i don't really enjoy
    "When life throws bad at you
    Live with it and deal with it
    in time karma will even the score"

    but still, it doesn't fit with the "you make" reptition either so i'm not sure. lots of potential, but the change from the pattern kind of threw me a little bit.

    you make yourself stronger, you make yourself better, kind of wordy, maybe say it in a more descriptive way

    you break and you reforge even stronger.. i'm not sure.

    good luck with this piece!
    | Posted on 2008-12-12 00:00:00 | by The Wolverine | [ Reply to This ]


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