Description: This song is not my feelings now. I was asked to try and write one that really was about love because some of my other works title sounds that it would be lovey dovey but turns out not to be. So here you go Beautifulsoul. The song you asked for. Personally I think I should stick to my dark poems
Verse 1
What is this feeling you are making me feel
I have never felt something like this before
I don't understand what is happening to me
When you are around you are all I see
I even lose my voice until you talk to me
And when we touch the butterflies come soaring in
Chorus
All these feelings are so new to me
You are like a fairytale dream
Taking me away into the clouds
Something like this just can not be real
But it has to be love
Cause it is to strong to be a crush
Verse 2
What is it about you that I just can not quite touch
Everything you say and do makes me love you some more
This is so confusing now that you are a part of me
I am wanting you even more
I just can not stop having you in my mind
When you came into my life
You caused my heart to beat again
Now you are in my soul
And I can not wait to have you in my arms
Chorus
Verse 3
My heart will live for you forever
I even know that you will always be mine
But now tell me how you feel
Is it true that you want me
Open up and tell me
And I will tell you what you want to hear
What I want to tell you
If you like me and want me
I say I want you too
Chorus
Verse 4
Babe you are driving me crazy with your silence
Tell me if your heart is really sealed on me
Open your mouth and tell me your feelings
So I can open up my heart to you some more
Cause I promise to tell you what you want to hear
Babe if you want me
I say I want you too
This is actually better than I think you think it is. I'm impressed with how well your non-dark poetry is. I've only read dark poetry by you, and this was a huge difference. I liked the way you wrote this one though. This song implements a lot of first person perspective, and that really improves it. Some poems need to be written in 3rd person, and some need to be written in 1st person, and this one is perfect in 1st.
The imagery isn't all that strong in the end, but in the beginning the imagery is very pronounced and is used very well, especially the part that talks about butterflies appearing whenever you 2 touch. This song overall inspires and makes one see a picture of a love that is blooming. I really do like it, and I really do think that you did a very good job at writing it.
The poem did seem to lose a little steam as it progressed, but the final few lines kind of made up for it. Overall it was a very nice attempt at a love poem/song, and I think you did a very nice job at it.
Submission Name: Fairytale Dream
