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    dots Submission Name: Live, That's an Orderdots

    Author: silverdrika
    ASL Info:    22/F/Brasil
    Elite Ratio:    5.94 - 127/123/43
    Words: 46
    Class/Type: Poetry/Serious
    Total Views: 848
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 312

       A bit sad... I know. But it does lift the burden from my chest a bit, the burden of living sometimes.

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsLive, That's an Orderdots

    This isnít an option; youíre no victim of jest.
    This isnít a question or any manner of test.

    You are not being graded; you will not live to pass.
    This is what you are breathingó
    You were not meant to last.

    Submitted on 2008-12-11 14:58:09     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
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    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      This is a bit sad, in that we can't give breath transplants. And there are those like me, who waste our breath on smoke, yet feel no shortage. Yet we see others who've cherished each and every intake and outtake, who don't take it for granted. I do wish I could give it to them. To someone who would appreciate, truly, the live giving air.

    I like the feel of this poem, and the way it's constructed. I like the order, that feeling of desperation that if you just command it, it might happen. Unfortunately words are the very air some people need, and throwing your air around commanding the un-commandable does not ease the suffering.

    Anywho, nice write.
    | Posted on 2008-12-23 00:00:00 | by FallenGrace | [ Reply to This ]
      Its very good,how you said it I mean...Sometimes you wonder what its all for,Id be inclined to agree that this isnt some competition where we get feedback from God in,but who knows

    I do know that Im here in the first place though,so Ill just have to build on that

    anyhow its a good poemk,Ive not nit-picking to do or anything so thats cool

    have a good Christmas

    | Posted on 2008-12-11 00:00:00 | by Raphael | [ Reply to This ]

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