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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Evolutiondots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: doppelganger
    ASL Info:    26/f/your brain
    Elite Ratio:    1.98 - 34/223/160
    Words: 107
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 612
    Average Vote:    5.0000
    Bytes: 806



    Description:
       Just a metaphorical expression of what's been changing these past few months. I know it's not great, or good, or even worth reading probably. But it's there.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsEvolutiondots
    -------------------------------------------


    Gelatin valleys content in nostalgia
    It's eating the villagers alive
    Those far off dark nights
    And mild air on the cheeks
          Corrode
    The castle I built here

    Gears turning left and right
    to the beat of an elevator dirge
    No tie, but the hypothetical one
          Choking
    It may be homicide

    When the gasoline that fueled
    This futile quest
    Was exchanged for the cheaper
          Harder to get
          Better for you
    Oxygen

    The dolls I set at the table
    Pecked out their own eyes
    And sit there, waiting
    For the signal

    To live




    Submitted on 2008-12-14 15:06:01     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      you know there's something in the disjointedness(not sure if that's a word but i like to coin my own phrases) of this that gives it a good quality.

    The dolls I set at the table
    Pecked out their own eyes
    And sit there, waiting
    For the signal

    To live

    people use the "doll" thing alot, never heard that one. from this poem you have a unique voice. i say it's good for that. originality get's many stars from me. so her it is many stars
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    ENJOY and thank you for the write.
    | Posted on 2008-12-15 00:00:00 | by Skillessbasterd | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

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    12. Does it feel original?



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