Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Evolutiondots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: doppelganger
    ASL Info:    26/f/your brain
    Elite Ratio:    1.98 - 34/223/160
    Words: 107
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 651
    Average Vote:    5.0000
    Bytes: 806



    Description:
       Just a metaphorical expression of what's been changing these past few months. I know it's not great, or good, or even worth reading probably. But it's there.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsEvolutiondots
    -------------------------------------------


    Gelatin valleys content in nostalgia
    It's eating the villagers alive
    Those far off dark nights
    And mild air on the cheeks
          Corrode
    The castle I built here

    Gears turning left and right
    to the beat of an elevator dirge
    No tie, but the hypothetical one
          Choking
    It may be homicide

    When the gasoline that fueled
    This futile quest
    Was exchanged for the cheaper
          Harder to get
          Better for you
    Oxygen

    The dolls I set at the table
    Pecked out their own eyes
    And sit there, waiting
    For the signal

    To live




    Submitted on 2008-12-14 15:06:01     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      you know there's something in the disjointedness(not sure if that's a word but i like to coin my own phrases) of this that gives it a good quality.

    The dolls I set at the table
    Pecked out their own eyes
    And sit there, waiting
    For the signal

    To live

    people use the "doll" thing alot, never heard that one. from this poem you have a unique voice. i say it's good for that. originality get's many stars from me. so her it is many stars
    ***********************
    ***********************
    ***********************
    ***********************

    ENJOY and thank you for the write.
    | Posted on 2008-12-15 00:00:00 | by Skillessbasterd | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    168923

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Hopelessly Blind written by ForgottenGraves
    One Thing written by Wolfwatching
    Red Barn written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Song written by Daniel Barlow
    To Glow written by krs3332003
    Fathoms of the Lullaby Sea written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Whiteout written by layDsayD
    Pain, an elixir. written by Ramneet
    Transparent written by Daniel Barlow
    Hollow Points written by RequiemOfDreams
    Pressure written by hybridsongwrite
    A Sonnet for Nina written by SavedDragon
    new moon written by CrypticBard
    Our Cinder Crisis written by SavedDragon
    The Song on Your Guitar written by SavedDragon
    Wasps written by Wolfwatching
    Life changes in a moment written by Ramneet
    Deaf Dumb and Blind is no excuse written by poetotoe
    Wish written by Daniel Barlow
    What happens written by Wolfwatching
    Sunset written by rev.jpfadeproof
    102.3 written by rev.jpfadeproof
    To the King written by HisNameIsNoMore
    This written by Chelebel
    Be Free written by hybridsongwrite
    Date night written by expiring_touch
    In My Head written by faideddarkness
    Incubus written by monad
    I will call out your name written by RisingSon
    Push written by JanePlane

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry