Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Evolutiondots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: doppelganger
    ASL Info:    26/f/your brain
    Elite Ratio:    1.98 - 34/223/160
    Words: 107
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 663
    Average Vote:    5.0000
    Bytes: 806



    Description:
       Just a metaphorical expression of what's been changing these past few months. I know it's not great, or good, or even worth reading probably. But it's there.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsEvolutiondots
    -------------------------------------------


    Gelatin valleys content in nostalgia
    It's eating the villagers alive
    Those far off dark nights
    And mild air on the cheeks
          Corrode
    The castle I built here

    Gears turning left and right
    to the beat of an elevator dirge
    No tie, but the hypothetical one
          Choking
    It may be homicide

    When the gasoline that fueled
    This futile quest
    Was exchanged for the cheaper
          Harder to get
          Better for you
    Oxygen

    The dolls I set at the table
    Pecked out their own eyes
    And sit there, waiting
    For the signal

    To live




    Submitted on 2008-12-14 15:06:01     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      you know there's something in the disjointedness(not sure if that's a word but i like to coin my own phrases) of this that gives it a good quality.

    The dolls I set at the table
    Pecked out their own eyes
    And sit there, waiting
    For the signal

    To live

    people use the "doll" thing alot, never heard that one. from this poem you have a unique voice. i say it's good for that. originality get's many stars from me. so her it is many stars
    ***********************
    ***********************
    ***********************
    ***********************

    ENJOY and thank you for the write.
    | Posted on 2008-12-15 00:00:00 | by Skillessbasterd | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    168923

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    ME written by jjd
    Aftermath and Waltz written by HisNameIsNoMore
    This written by Chelebel
    All Time Low written by Janesaddiction
    The Search written by HisNameIsNoMore
    4th Season of Vivaldi written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Tides of Man written by HisNameIsNoMore
    To the Epilogue written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Unfortunate Reality written by TeslaKoyal
    Hollow Points written by RequiemOfDreams
    A Fire! A Knife! A Black Crow Calls! written by HisNameIsNoMore
    On Top of a Water Wheel written by Wolfwatching
    To the King written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Can't let my demons go written by faideddarkness
    Fathoms of the Lullaby Sea written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Be Free written by hybridsongwrite
    Genesis written by saartha
    Wasps written by Wolfwatching
    You Make Me speechless written by elephantasia
    I'm here written by BloodtornAngel
    Sunt Mala Quae Libas written by MyPeriodical
    Hopelessly Blind written by ForgottenGraves
    The Last to Walk the Earth written by HisNameIsNoMore
    By the bar written by expiring_touch
    Skulls Beyond the Palisade written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Faith In Line written by MyPeriodical
    Incubus written by monad
    Date night written by expiring_touch
    Munyonyo written by expiring_touch
    untitled written by Chelebel

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry