Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: chained to this worlddots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: The Wolverine
    ASL Info:    23/M/MA
    Elite Ratio:    4.51 - 74/137/91
    Words: 176
    Class/Type: Poetry/Cutting or Mutilation
    Total Views: 500
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1299



    Description:
       it's about insomnia, and how i sometimes tend to tear myself to pieces when i can't sleep

    machine head is a good song, all credit to gavin rossdale of bush i am a huge fan.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotschained to this worlddots
    -------------------------------------------


    self-vivisection
    subject writhes
    bed feels like a table

    unable to close
    those wired eyes
    kill the red electric light

    millions of scalpel thoughts
    racing machine head
    slicing through
    pink mind tissue
    what will I find?

    some anomaly or idiosyncrasy
    from society's definiton "normalcy"
    or some strange tic inside my brain
    to explain the torture
    raging wide-eyed hell


    engine running strong
    assembly line stands still
    until sun-up

    time to get up
    and the day goes on
    and on
    and on

    don't yawn because
    you're boring
    in my head

    swear it's true
    I care
    I care
    but i'm not really there


    long for the night, shut tired eyes
    and try
    and cry

    doing time
    but why was i
    given a life sentence
    for some dream crime
    forget the reason
    this rhyme is like a rubix cube
    i can't just take the stickers off
    and my hands are tied
    and i sigh
    and i die
    each and every
    fucking time




    Submitted on 2008-12-15 19:49:34     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      i really like this!! its pretty twisted...i like this kind of stuff...awesome job... ;)
    -ash
    | Posted on 2009-05-07 00:00:00 | by suicidalacts72 | [ Reply to This ]
      Interesting...

    I understand...

    It is like you're endlessly running through the "motions" like that of a machine, so callous, so cold and you can see this but do nothing about it. Like the misery of watching yourself die in third person, distant and satalited. Things that shouldnt mean so much mean so much, such frivilous things like sleep. Trapped, so much apathy in this write.

    You should revise this and expand on the misery.
    | Posted on 2009-01-05 00:00:00 | by Black-Wall | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    168978

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Redemption written by poetotoe
    The Old Mill written by Wolfwatching
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (6) written by endlessgame23
    winners circle written by ShyOne
    to Be like written by KeeperOfLight
    i've missed written by mysalvation
    Etiquette written by saartha
    To the Artist written by HisNameIsNoMore
    I AM THANKFUL FOR written by Ramneet
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (2) written by endlessgame23
    The World written by jjd
    Lilitu written by endlessgame23
    Shut Up written by annie0888
    The Poems Death written by Mepoduo
    To the Devil and Candle written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Physician, Heal Thyself written by WriteSomething
    When Sirens Whisper written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Relativity written by poetotoe
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (1) written by endlessgame23
    Carry written by saartha
    Deep Into A World Of Despair written by DeathTone
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (4) written by endlessgame23
    Suffer The Children written by poetotoe
    Coversheets written by TheStillSilence
    Birds of a Feather written by poetotoe
    The Unicorn written by BlazeFlamme
    Dream written by closetpoet
    Angel Eyes written by poetotoe
    Across the bed written by expiring_touch
    Life is moments written by Ramneet

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry