Description: i can't really remember who it was on this site, who told me that they only write poems by personifying inanimate objects, and that they wish to write something like me. I very rarely personify inanimate objects, so i tried this.Try to guess what I am talking about! Let me in on your thoughts!
Swirling round and around
Mixing between two different people
Diversifying from one person to another
Turning slowly to a mixture
In love with each other
The essence of each
Creeping into that of the other
Slowly we find a newborn
very abstract but it works. cool rose! i like the swirling around & around part and the mixing. i picture you reading this in a cafe with a dj while he's scratching a mix on vinyl; just to add a touch. cool.
i like this, it started off really well, and i was really geting into the wrie then it jsut ends abruptly to me it seems like there should be a bit more to it, to me right whenit really caught my eye it ends. but it was good
So gigglygirl thinks it stopped too soon and too quickly, well look at the subject, sometimes thats the way it goes! But to your poem, I think you need to check L-4 and make it "from one person to another" later, Dave
Well, your last line is both a clue and a misdirection. Many probably assume this is about sex, but I've never known anyone to "slowly" find a newborn (should be a newborn, not an newborn) No, the discovery that you are going to have a baby comes quite abruptly, so I'm thinking that the newborn is love, or a couple becoming one through amalgamation. Am I on the track? Dave
u naughty naughty.. it was funny that u have written something that is adult oriented and it is passionate peice of work well what prompted u to write this, i have no idea, but this is one peice that will find its place in my fav's bye