Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Mixturedots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Little Gal
    ASL Info:    20 female, Bahrain
    Elite Ratio:    3.58 - 469/431/94
    Words: 44
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 977
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 312



    Description:
       i can't really remember who it was on this site, who told me that they only write poems by personifying inanimate objects, and that they wish to write something like me. I very rarely personify inanimate objects, so i tried this.Try to guess what I am talking about! Let me in on your thoughts!


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsMixturedots
    -------------------------------------------


    Swirling round and around
    Mixing between two different people
    Slowly diffusing
    Diversifying from one person to another
    Turning slowly to a mixture
    In love with each other
    The essence of each
    Creeping into that of the other
    Slowly we find a newborn




    Submitted on 2004-07-10 23:47:46     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      very abstract but it works. cool rose! i like the swirling around & around part and the mixing. i picture you reading this in a cafe with a dj while he's scratching a mix on vinyl; just to add a touch. cool.
    | Posted on 2004-07-10 00:00:00 | by pioneerheart | [ Reply to This ]
      loved the picture. your poem was really good.
    loved the ending. keep up the good work.
    hope to read more of your stuff.
    | Posted on 2004-07-10 00:00:00 | by lonely poet | [ Reply to This ]
      love the picture like the poem i think i might read more of your works!
    the wording certiainly had me i wich it was longer though
    | Posted on 2004-07-11 00:00:00 | by death22881 | [ Reply to This ]
      i like this, it started off really well, and i was really geting into the wrie then it jsut ends abruptly to me it seems like there should be a bit more to it, to me right whenit really caught my eye it ends. but it was good
    | Posted on 2004-07-11 00:00:00 | by gigglygirl | [ Reply to This ]
      So gigglygirl thinks it stopped too soon and too quickly, well look at the subject, sometimes thats the way it goes! But to your poem, I think you need to check L-4 and make it "from one person to another"
    later,
    Dave
    | Posted on 2004-07-12 00:00:00 | by Sandburg | [ Reply to This ]
      You: Can you guess what "Mixtures" Was about?

    Well, your last line is both a clue and a misdirection.
    Many probably assume this is about sex, but I've never known anyone to "slowly" find a newborn (should be a newborn, not an newborn) No, the discovery that you are going to have a baby comes quite abruptly, so I'm thinking that the newborn is love, or a couple becoming one through amalgamation. Am I on the track?
    Dave
    | Posted on 2004-07-13 00:00:00 | by Sandburg | [ Reply to This ]
      u naughty naughty.. it was funny that u have written something that is adult oriented and it is passionate peice of work
    well what prompted u to write this, i have no idea, but this is one peice that will find its place in my fav's
    bye
    | Posted on 2004-07-15 00:00:00 | by rawpot | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    16898

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Coversheets written by TheStillSilence
    Things They (Don't) Say written by TheStillSilence
    Beauty Rest written by jackz
    Vortex: The Imagination That Is written by KeeperOfLight
    Johnny's Cock written by endlessgame23
    A Thousand Reflections written by endlessgame23
    The World written by jjd
    Not the Devil, but the Wind written by endlessgame23
    Compartments written by TheStillSilence
    The Want written by Daniel Barlow
    Lost Inside the Race written by ForgottenGraves
    Untitled written by Daniel Barlow
    When Sirens Whisper written by HisNameIsNoMore
    a leaf of shadow and edge written by Daniel Barlow
    Hyle written by endlessgame23
    Deep written by Janesaddiction
    The Human Harmonic written by Daniel Barlow
    The Abyss of Love written by poetotoe
    Lie back & tan written by Daniel Barlow
    FamiliarDemons ©™ written by kyserin
    Live In Between written by teika5
    Delicious Stews written by elephantasia
    A Worsening Effect written by Daniel Barlow
    Adoration written by TheStillSilence
    Gaia written by endlessgame23
    Night- time written by Daniel Barlow
    Loop-di-Loop written by endlessgame23
    Meaningless Meanings written by ForgottenGraves
    no sky on the other side written by teika5
    Day 5 written by TheStillSilence

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry