The words jumped ship
off his lips
And drowned in my cerebral fluids
A soft clip clop, reeking of uncertainty
Echoed from the fornication
my soles on the dirty floor
My cheeks gained a layer of blush
Though I walked out makeup-less
But there were the roses
Valentines day is a month away
With no money for chocolates
Mr. Frosts brother gave me bitter hugs
Underneath a new moon
Ashes hit the pavement
Cancer and I? We're dating.
My house of cards?
It all fell down.
| Sorry about your job. |
This is both Interesting and odd at the same time. I like some of you imagery I particularly enjoyed the beginning and the end of the piece. There's some bizarre quality to it that makes in a way strangely appealing. One of the reasons I relished the poem was because it's not commonplace, I mean although the situation you depict is indeed ordinary you were capable of portraying something deeper. I guess your wording happens to be one of the strong points here. I was puzzled though with the fornication part. I couldn't figure out whether that was literal or not. I'll leave it to my imagination.
|| Posted on 2009-03-21 00:00:00 | by Ethan Brody | [ Reply to This ] |