Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: The King and Queen of Heartsdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Quin
    Elite Ratio:    3.65 - 39/39/21
    Words: 150
    Class/Type: Poetry/Passion
    Total Views: 1175
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 983



    Description:
       ...Midnight musings; I wonder if I was dreaming.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsThe King and Queen of Heartsdots
    -------------------------------------------


    There is certain delight in wandering eyes
    Our swiftest glances are concrete
    And when our hands wander we remember
    Doing this dance with someone similar

    The sheets tangle tight and warm
    Limbs entwine in separate codas, latching, grasping
    And we canít seem to separate
    Our hearts beat off key and in sync
    Not to please you, but, always around you
    Itís not hard to make a semblance of normal

    I donít mind, if you donít mind
    Thereís a certain delight in giving chances
    And when our fingers touch its only heart breaking
    So when the sun rises and youíre still here
    Please, please follow me.

    Somethingís are tentative like this
    But I prefer the darkness, the heat
    And if you can keep up, we can sanctify it with lemon kisses
    Tasting each other like licking salt off old wounds
    And itís alright this way
    Itís alright.




    Submitted on 2008-12-16 16:55:42     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      I got from this poem a physical relationship that the narrarator considered bringing to something more, but in the end decided that they "prefer the darkness, the heat."
    If I got that wrong, I'm really sorry! :) All in all I really liked the images you conjured. I also noticed and loved the "lemon kisses" and "like licking salt off old wounds" is a wonderful phrase that can carry so many separate meanings to the poem. I think that one line pulls it all together nicely and brings a whole new element- almost like a plot twist. Thanks for sharing!
    The Conqueror
    | Posted on 2009-05-05 00:00:00 | by The Conqueror | [ Reply to This ]
      Excellent and very satisfying poem, all on a difficult subject which you have mastered in this delightful poem! Love for the sake of love, maybe an enjoyable fling, a desirous interlude, maybe something more.

    Excellent write, lovely lady!

    | Posted on 2008-12-17 00:00:00 | by Ron Cole | [ Reply to This ]
      This is a fine lusty poem. Images like concrete glances and lemon kisses are strong. I feel the freedom of the speaker joining with another but still one's self. - Jim
    | Posted on 2008-12-17 00:00:00 | by my shadow | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    169020

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    The annointed one is persecuted. written by MyPeriodical
    untitled written by MyPeriodical
    written by Daniel Barlow
    Quoth The Skies and its limits written by MyPeriodical
    written by Daniel Barlow
    I am a sorry son. written by MyPeriodical
    Human Progression written by ForgottenGraves
    Blues written by TheStillSilence
    written by Daniel Barlow
    untitled written by MyPeriodical
    Two hundred and seven times written by MyPeriodical
    In God's Name written by poetotoe
    Untitled written by _winky_
    Scared written by MyPeriodical
    Sanctimony written by MyPeriodical
    written by Daniel Barlow
    Where is My Ghost written by ForgottenGraves
    written by Daniel Barlow
    Canalizar written by MyPeriodical
    Release written by robbie
    Gone written by MyPeriodical
    Everyone written by poetotoe
    Heroína written by MyPeriodical
    written by Daniel Barlow
    Broken Promises written by S.A.M.
    Tired Vine written by MyPeriodical
    Stance written by Daniel Barlow
    That Kind of Love Never Brought Me Flowers written by Jazzy
    Comparisons written by MyPeriodical
    Remedies written by MyPeriodical

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry