[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: The King and Queen of Heartsdots

    Author: Quin
    Elite Ratio:    3.65 - 39/39/21
    Words: 150
    Class/Type: Poetry/Passion
    Total Views: 1096
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 983

       ...Midnight musings; I wonder if I was dreaming.

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsThe King and Queen of Heartsdots

    There is certain delight in wandering eyes
    Our swiftest glances are concrete
    And when our hands wander we remember
    Doing this dance with someone similar

    The sheets tangle tight and warm
    Limbs entwine in separate codas, latching, grasping
    And we canít seem to separate
    Our hearts beat off key and in sync
    Not to please you, but, always around you
    Itís not hard to make a semblance of normal

    I donít mind, if you donít mind
    Thereís a certain delight in giving chances
    And when our fingers touch its only heart breaking
    So when the sun rises and youíre still here
    Please, please follow me.

    Somethingís are tentative like this
    But I prefer the darkness, the heat
    And if you can keep up, we can sanctify it with lemon kisses
    Tasting each other like licking salt off old wounds
    And itís alright this way
    Itís alright.

    Submitted on 2008-12-16 16:55:42     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      I got from this poem a physical relationship that the narrarator considered bringing to something more, but in the end decided that they "prefer the darkness, the heat."
    If I got that wrong, I'm really sorry! :) All in all I really liked the images you conjured. I also noticed and loved the "lemon kisses" and "like licking salt off old wounds" is a wonderful phrase that can carry so many separate meanings to the poem. I think that one line pulls it all together nicely and brings a whole new element- almost like a plot twist. Thanks for sharing!
    The Conqueror
    | Posted on 2009-05-05 00:00:00 | by The Conqueror | [ Reply to This ]
      Excellent and very satisfying poem, all on a difficult subject which you have mastered in this delightful poem! Love for the sake of love, maybe an enjoyable fling, a desirous interlude, maybe something more.

    Excellent write, lovely lady!

    | Posted on 2008-12-17 00:00:00 | by Ron Cole | [ Reply to This ]
      This is a fine lusty poem. Images like concrete glances and lemon kisses are strong. I feel the freedom of the speaker joining with another but still one's self. - Jim
    | Posted on 2008-12-17 00:00:00 | by my shadow | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    4th Season of Vivaldi written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Bond written by saartha
    written by Daniel Barlow
    4th of July written by layDsayD
    Push written by JanePlane
    Summer written by layDsayD
    Happy Saint Patrick's Day written by poetotoe
    Cosmic Dreams written by Chelebel
    written by Daniel Barlow
    written by Daniel Barlow
    More then just goodbye written by faideddarkness
    Every..... written by jackz
    Devils in the Details written by endlessgame23
    Fasade written by jackz
    Brigit written by endlessgame23
    Still Fighting See? written by ForgottenGraves
    descent written by TheBadSadMan
    written by Daniel Barlow
    Primitive Lapse written by Crestfallenman
    PEARL (Exclusive Poem) 10th Anniversary... written by Cordell
    Red Barn written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Sleep Talk written by Queen_of_spades
    Linger written by saartha
    It's Night Now written by RisingSon
    Sunset written by rev.jpfadeproof
    World I No Longer Want written by ForgottenGraves
    Your Lover written by Cordell
    Blood Stains Are The Worst written by ForgottenGraves
    Whiteout written by layDsayD
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (7) written by endlessgame23




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]