Hm. While I find this piece intriguing... it sounds off to me. Most of the lines are well put together and in equal measure; the middle section just doesn't seem to fit in as nicely as I know it should.
'Under trees and over fields
Through rivers and around hills
Winds rush and tumble like children at play
On silver smiles and ruby lips does
The gold light lay'
Maybe you could cut out the comment about the 'ruby lips' and move the comment about the 'gold light' up? I'm really not quite sure how to help you to improve it.
Your stuff is generally difficult all the way around for me to critique/comment.
I do have to Agree with this C.C.'s comment. It is good, but it could be great. Keep up the work, happy writings.