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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: honesty is such a letdowndots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: meoww
    Elite Ratio:    6.75 - 262/258/143
    Words: 251
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 978
    Average Vote:    5.0000
    Bytes: 1698



    Description:
       old-ish poem. nice and gloomy christmas cheer.
    harhar.

    ...just broke it off with my girlfriend at the time, if you really must know. how emo.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotshonesty is such a letdowndots
    -------------------------------------------




    i have a mermaid painting and an angel drawing up on my wall. both signify
    that archetype of female elusiveness. i have a guitar with five strings
    and a coconut shell drum with a cigarette burn in it. both show
    i don't care enough for material things.

    today, i learnt of the existence of limbo. i thought perhaps
    it was another word for fragile and tenuous.

    last night, i slept because i didn't want to wake up.
    it all becomes strings and holes and inconsequential sequences.
    it becomes a gift returned, effusive whisperings
    chained back inside.

    tonight, i'll know the meaning of a decrescendo. of lilac
    transformed to senna and umber. tonight, i'll lose myself
    in words, and dream of harps silencing me
    with softness.

    yesterday, i drove up a hill to read the daily paper. i drank
    spirulina fruit juice and looked out over the waitemata harbour.
    i thought many things: of mermaids and angels
    i could never hope to tame.

    three years of oblivion is a tempting grave to return to. three years
    of wondering why this earth spins seems a mirror i'll look into.
    four more years before i'm thirty, with no house or kids,
    or the false assumptions i made at fifteen, thinking
    this world was mine, that the motions
    of artistic enterprise
    could ever make a difference.

    tonight, i read and write
    because it's the only thing left to me right now.

    _________________________________________________________________




    Submitted on 2008-12-20 00:20:45     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
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    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Parting is only some
    sweet sorrow when
    the understudy waits
    to replace the lead

    and no beats are missed
    no sad tomorrows
    no haunted heavens
    bleat like sheep in dreams

    before Romeo guts some Capulet
    he should write a dirge worthy of his Juliet
    | Posted on 2008-12-22 00:00:00 | by rws | [ Reply to This ]
      Well, I for one am sure glad you posted this. It's a first read for me and I loved it, but then I tend to like most lost-love poems. Not to say yours isn't exceptional, it is, just that my fondness for the subject leads me to favor these sorts of things. I do not know what to call the style, or whom to compare it with, but I will say that it seemed to fit perfectly to your poem. Why? Perhaps because it was written with the "emo" you mentioned, and God, isn't that what poetry is?

    At any rate this is the best I've read here in a while, a FAV for sure. Great stuff.

    Phil
    | Posted on 2008-12-20 00:00:00 | by phil askew | [ Reply to This ]
      i remember this one well.
    i remember loving it the first time around.
    it seems so... bukowski like in its approach and outlook and because of this it brings the honesty beyond let down status for me.

    sure the content and context of the piece is all about the let down but the way it is presented brings some kind of vague hope. down but not out perhaps?

    what was your motivation for postin this again? is an anniversary nigh? or did you just remember how much i liked this piece and decided to post it for me to break the monotony of my tiredness?

    must be closer to thirty now... and im wondering whether the house and kids is becoming more important or not... whether the pressure or the dream is morphing to a point that it could be something slightly different...

    you know im rambling but i dont want to cover last times response all over again czo that would be cheating..
    | Posted on 2008-12-20 00:00:00 | by Someones Epiphany | [ Reply to This ]
      Its not emo,its excellent...

    I can relate but thats not why I like it,the thing is I was reading your poem and I was having a little think to myself about how poetry should be expressed in our time as opposed to strict structure and form

    And I was reading your poem and I thought:

    This was the perfect expression of the way you feel,it was honest,trustworthy and most importantly it was beautifully written but seemeingly effortless

    I think thats whats cool about Elite skills,

    its a writing workshop,not a poetry book

    and I think you really put yourself out there

    I can pick favourite lines or whatever but Im sure youve heard it all before Im sure

    all I wanna say Is I really really enjoyed this,and its probably the first honest fave Ive aded in a while

    Thank you for the read,I had a bad break up a while ago and its been hard to get over,but this poems been very elaborating for me

    Cheers!

    -Craig
    | Posted on 2008-12-20 00:00:00 | by Raphael | [ Reply to This ]


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