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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Please (say yes)dots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: The Wolverine
    ASL Info:    23/M/MA
    Elite Ratio:    4.51 - 74/137/91
    Words: 262
    Class/Type: Lyrics/Love
    Total Views: 728
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1749



    Description:
       an attempt at a love song.

    It's not the final version, I need your help!


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsPlease (say yes)dots
    -------------------------------------------


    Peanut butter tongue
    twisted up again
    paper plane
    shot down by rain
    like a vertical antiaircraft gun
    to stun me
    like your skin
    where do i begin?
    (you make my head spin)

    But my heart's not quiet
    he screams for you
    and everything you do

    I swear it's true
    when your razor smile shoots my way
    saliva turns to glue
    what am i to do?
    (how do i tell you?)

    So I wrote this down for you
    and then I burned it
    don't know what I'd do
    if you read my love
    and spurned it
    or returned it seal intact
    (how would i react?)

    I'm hanging here
    but please don't cut me down
    i couldn't take it
    my heart is dying slowly dear
    (so please don't break it)

    Today I wrote this down for you
    and couldn't send it
    but every single word was true
    (I swear i meant them)

    But if this note's never read
    I'd be better off dead
    I can't put this to bed
    with these feelings
    locked in my head

    I can't guess any longer
    I have to know the score
    so I'll step through the door
    (and then i'll know for sure)

    Yeah today
    I have the nerve to say
    I'll finally reach out
    and pray you'll say
    yes
    (say yes)

    So I wrote this down for you
    and place it in your hands like velvet
    even if you tear it up
    I will not regret this
    (I'll never regret this)







    Submitted on 2008-12-21 22:05:30     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      wow this was really good. i love it, i hope u dont mind if i add this to my favs. i like it the way it is, im nit sure if id change anything at all about it. idk it feels like its good the way it is. well anyway nice job keep up the good work
    tayla aka sickofhurting u
    | Posted on 2008-12-22 00:00:00 | by SickOfHurting U | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

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    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



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