Description: If you want there can be more to come
Social Blur -------------------------------------------
Gates once told me about the wind and earth
how the things that created them also created us.
It’s sheer force of energy.
I am nothing more then you or her
a sadistic creature of nature made of the same things
that make up the and stars, see perfectly flawed.
As I sit behind the safe glow of monitor listing to Wild Horses
and drinking adult beverages feeling a bit scared cause it’s been ages since I have gave birth
to anything remotely original and care free.
No more are there gods and devils nor is the monster of the head or vampires
Only observations and feelings almost like a social commentary and Little Debbie’s fudge rounds.
I will not be attending the once a year God time on Thursday the 25th im sure he will understand.
Dark voids
Dark voices
Dark morals
Dark souls
Members of the human race unite rejoice cause at this rate we only have a few more years left.
hmmm. i get what you're saying...i think...but...it's hard to point at this and say anything of the perception. i think in it's raw form...we can all relate.or a good bit to the whole once a year jesus element.
the way it jumps from.....such elevated..(well quite the opposite from elevated) terms to very raw.....from....
I am nothing more then you or her
a sadistic creature of nature made of the same things
that make up the (?) and stars, see perfectly flawed.
to............
As I sit behind the safe glow of monitor listing to Wild Horses
and drinking adult beverages feeling a bit scared cause it’s been ages since I have gave birth
to anything remotely original and care free.
could be expanded upon. in a way it's adressing an attempt to uh.......re-poetry ones self, and i'm sure alot of use here at least know that. perhaps maybe you could entertwine more elements of that?
as far as original and carefree......there's nothing jaw dropping.but it's still pretty good and.......easy to take from.
i get lost on the gates part and i wonder if that's the poetry re-entry side...........if i'm making no sense forgive me. i usually don't draw from poetry very accurately....so perhaps i'm thinking of something else......
i agree with the no [censored] way in relation to once a year god time........i mean.......if i'm gonna go to church..i want to go because i believe and i feel it can be more than just my pretty meeting place for once a week friends...and once a year..........just cause of..........idk tradition..feels even more cheap to me. i think right and wrong are subjective to self.....cognitive interference is to strong in our thought processes.....and this is just my perspective. so yeah i think i get it. just keep working at it. especially if it is a positive force in your life personally. and you've gotten some amazing [censored] before....most of which has been deleted i [censored]edly add.....if you got the drive to...then just keep going for it.
even if you wanna go off the wall and get all weird al on us or somethin.
later. good luck in life. and oh yeah........happy once a day god time.
Well perhaps there's something to be said for having the desire to do something and that coming first, and earning the ability along the way. I mean what you said on my page as far as a lack of talent that keeps people from writing. I think talent in writing is something that's earned over time and grows in the doing, sort of like bodybuilding. If you don't stick with it and do it regularly, you're likely to get very little out of it.
I'm not going to nitpick but I will ask that you read this over carefully (then for than, some line termination issues, things like that) and maybe edit out some of the rough edges and consider a format and stick to it. But even without that I appreciate the stream of consciousness freeform thought here.
As for the content . . . I'd say it's easy to see the dark side and focus on that and regard doom as an inevitable consequence to what's going on in the world, and how we've been treating it. But I'd argue against such a one-sided pessimism, if only because there are still good people in the world fighting for something better, for change, and for a future that while not perfect, certainly lives more up to our promise than our present efforts. There's a ton of love out there and that, if nothing else, will pull hope out of the fire. We like to dance upon the edge . . . if only for the dramatic finish!
Time will tell.
Anyways, my ramblings aside, thanks for sharing this and welcome to the site (or welcome back, as the case may be)!
Submission Name: Social Blur
