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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Juliedots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: meoww
    Elite Ratio:    6.75 - 262/258/143
    Words: 304
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 137
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1859



    Description:
       out on a major limb here.
    read an excellent poem by sexton:
    http://plagiarist.com/poetry/8028/
    so i went with my own.
    nothing of this is literally true.

    is that a spoiler?
    i think it is.
    oh well.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsJuliedots
    -------------------------------------------




    Too long now a sunrise was the only memory you photographed.
    You always spoke of Athens and its colonnades of stone.
    Marble, a forgotten story. Your fingers didn't want to let go.
    Didn't believe the Mediterranean held anything more
    Than love-starved, rained-upon Londoners.

    They'll go to Ibiza like they do every year, perform the art of
    Hedonism with groggy eyes. Stunned. Another day
    In helpless paradise.

    They told you Sam was on a hilltop road
    Where truffles and boars dare to grow.
    Near Milan? You never said. You did imply
    He was a lover, though. One with fine fingers,
    Obviously used to piano. A grey-haired sergeant
    Oblivious to a new world
    Where marriage was for the old.
    The infirm. For the cornstalks
    Refusing to dislodge their roots
    In a cyclone.

    Athens is so far away from Kansas
    Where you first learnt to sew.

    A seamstress. Thimble and thread
    Your deliverance and bread.
    A mother, too blind to read the daily paper.
    "In our days, there were no such things
    As fancy surgeons
    Willing to contemplate anything
    But how to prevent
    Untimely death."

    I read each story slowly, let you savour the sights
    Of another century torn by war and infernos.
    I mention how many died, how many decided
    It was time to fight.

    You take especial pride in these victories
    Of the human condition. I guess that's where you and I
    Can agree far too easily.

    I see the missed connections
    Spanning fifty years. You are alone now. I know this.
    You know this story will end.




    Submitted on 2008-12-22 10:29:29     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      This reminds me of Hemmingway, A Farewell to Arms. I like it, attractive piece. She sounds like she is very loveable. An ideal for the romantic. You did a great job with the creation of her.
    | Posted on 2009-02-03 00:00:00 | by lori_tab | [ Reply to This ]
      I don't think it was a spoiler to foretell this is imagination... it just shows how brilliant your imagination is, that you can create touchable fiction that plays out so well... I saw it clearly. Kudo's!
    | Posted on 2009-02-01 00:00:00 | by SmokinG | [ Reply to This ]
      This read wonderfully for the most part scenes paint in brievity that feel as if i'm looking in, watching and movie; a life.

    I love these lines

    Didn't believe the Mediterranean held anything more
    Than love-starved, rained-upon Londoners.

    There's some association i make with the old world and romance europe especially the Mediterranean region. So i get an image of love lost hopeless romanticism.

    and
    Where truffles and boars dare to grow
    and

    He was a lover, though. One with fine fingers,
    Obviously used to piano. A grey-haired sergeant
    Oblivious to a new world
    Where marriage was for the old.
    The infirm. For the cornstalks
    Refusing to dislodge their roots
    In a cyclone.

    The passage above was especially strong i enjoyed your use of roots to reinerate ancesstory I also though this charater was painted with nostalgia and again the feeling of dreamy loss sweeps in.

    the consistency in emotion and your abilty to develope the feeling in such brevity i applaud.
    i like this a lot.

    | Posted on 2008-12-22 00:00:00 | by shaman | [ Reply to This ]



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