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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Tooldots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: cuddledumplin
    ASL Info:    36/ f/UK
    Elite Ratio:    4.08 - 6269/5927/526
    Words: 55
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 829
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 369



    Description:
       I don't know why, but I'm obsessed with manipulation lately.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsTooldots
    -------------------------------------------


    I'm eager to be tied to you
    like shoelaces entwine,
    but I'm scared,
    for I'll have to bend,
    and my heart might break,
    but you want to mold my mind
    until I'm no longer me,
    but I shall resist,
    for you can't sculpt granite
    with your hands,
    and I'm your only tool.




    Submitted on 2004-07-11 08:52:12     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      this sounds like two different poems to me. the first, about the shoelace, says you want to be "tied" to this person, but you are afraid. i like the reference to having to bend, like the shoelace would when you tie it in the shoe. the second part speaks about you not wanting to be molded by someone. they try to make you different, but they don't seem to have any tools to do it with. somehow i get that he is using you, because you speak of you being a tool to him. i think you could work on this and actually get two different poems out of it! they are both great ideas, unique. i always enjoy reading your stuff because it's always different than the norm!
    | Posted on 2004-07-11 00:00:00 | by magnicat | [ Reply to This ]
      
    some grammatical errors but full of emotion! I love it..i can really relate to this and by accomplishing relationshio with other readers ur poem has been perfected!
    loalvie
    | Posted on 2004-07-11 00:00:00 | by lolavie | [ Reply to This ]
      
    some grammatical errors but full of emotion! I love it..i can really relate to this and by accomplishing relationshio with other readers ur poem has been perfected!
    loalvie
    | Posted on 2004-07-11 00:00:00 | by lolavie | [ Reply to This ]
      I don't think that it necessarily consists of two different poems as magnicat said. it's just two different thoughts describing how you feel. you have got mixed emotions towards that 'him'. you want to be tied to him but also you're scared of it. I like this poem very much, but you should proofread it. there are some typos in there.
    | Posted on 2004-07-11 00:00:00 | by eve1684 | [ Reply to This ]
      wow you must be enjoying yourself cuddle are you sure you wrote this..lol...i agree it does sound like two diffrent thoughts...plus some puncuation erorrs...wow ...anywho...i still enjoyed itbut i think it could maybe be spiced up a little...but for now just relax and enjoy yourself...smiles ange
    | Posted on 2004-07-11 00:00:00 | by purplesun24 | [ Reply to This ]
      It seems like there is a dual-metaphor for you, the medium and the tool. And of course, if you are tied to him like a shoelace, then he is a shoelace as well. So you are his entwined equal, his object of manipulation, and his tool for manipulation. He is your entwined equal, your manipulator, and the user of your usefullness. But your desire is to be the equal, whereas his is to be the manipulator and user.

    How's that for over analysis? Not a bad poem. Have you missed me? Do you know, I never realized Tony Blair has such large ears. It's like he stepped off of a Star Trek set.
    | Posted on 2004-07-12 00:00:00 | by Black Rock Tractor | [ Reply to This ]
      You must be having your fair share of fun, because you've been very quiet. This was quite good, but not one of your masterpieces. Write some more, we are missing you...and have lots of fun in the meantime.
    | Posted on 2004-07-12 00:00:00 | by Lelik | [ Reply to This ]
      wow i didmention puncuation...what the hells wrong with me...lol...well anywho excuse my punuation comment...

    its weird cause i never care about it anyways...smiles ange
    | Posted on 2004-07-12 00:00:00 | by purplesun24 | [ Reply to This ]
      Fear of commitment and having the other person try to make you change. I never understood why people do that. "I love you honey, so here is what I want to change about you..." We bend and maybe we break. We are molded and in return make our attempts at sculpture.

    I really like the metaphors in this piece. It's classic.
    | Posted on 2004-07-15 00:00:00 | by angela~ | [ Reply to This ]


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