Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: under the black spotlightdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: ladiesplanet1
    ASL Info:    23.cali baby
    Elite Ratio:    3.58 - 720/463/165
    Words: 308
    Class/Type: Lyrics/Serious
    Total Views: 389
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1428



    Description:
       i cant believe its you


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsunder the black spotlightdots
    -------------------------------------------


    i wish i never see you again you aint even a friend this shit aint even pretend are we about to begin who is the enemy i let you stay ahead of me so i can creep in the back door while you creepin in the window you couldnt even shadow right so you leave me keepin this shit tight and you better know we doo this shit right underneatrh the blacklight spotlight

    why you keep hatin why you keep fakin like you aint bouts to be flakinnow you see what im takin over and its you you can never do what you wanted to do you cant even be true to you so how could you be true to me i will never let them vie us as we if thats what you believe you should leave cuz im not the one to go and you will be the last to know when im bouts to show my face this is what i paint this is what i create i aint takin your bait who are you to be in my fate its too late you could never relate or understand what im goin through how the world is blue of what im bouts to do i could kills you

    while you was dyin i was cryin in the corner of the bathroom on the floor and im staring at myself in my eyes and i see an even darker fear have i really just lost you to this gun wound yodid i do this to you i ask myself what i Cn do to save you to enslave you and use your dying body before you hve a chance to forget that i was the threat and the next time ou try you better recognize who yuo messin with who are you testin bitch




    Submitted on 2008-12-25 13:55:03     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Sorry, I don't have much criticism. But, I like your style. I couldn't really read it right until I said it aloud. Alot of what I see anymore is cryptic sounding or people stick to conventional styles of poetry.
    | Posted on 2009-02-04 00:00:00 | by MyWorld | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    169345

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    descent written by TheBadSadMan
    Sleep Talk written by Queen_of_spades
    prison written by ShyOne
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (6) written by endlessgame23
    the testing of hypotheses written by Daniel Barlow
    Physician, Heal Thyself written by WriteSomething
    PEARL (Exclusive Poem) 10th Anniversary... written by Cordell
    Journey written by endlessgame23
    Waiting written by Daniel Barlow
    a mood to be free written by Daniel Barlow
    i've missed written by mysalvation
    More then just goodbye written by faideddarkness
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (2) written by endlessgame23
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (3) written by endlessgame23
    Cover written by saartha
    mimicry written by expiring_touch
    I AM THANKFUL FOR written by Ramneet
    My Four Seasons written by faideddarkness
    Shut Up written by annie0888
    winners circle written by ShyOne
    The Severed Head written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (final) written by endlessgame23
    I, Plutarch written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Silent Screams In Silent Dreams written by poetotoe
    a safe place written by Daniel Barlow
    Fasade written by jackz
    Or are we written in the sand? written by Chelebel
    To the Devil and Candle written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Deep Into A World Of Despair written by DeathTone
    Shi written by ShyOne

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry