[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: truth revealeddots

    Author: marrymejuliet
    Elite Ratio:    3.04 - 22/15/19
    Words: 196
    Class/Type: Poetry/Depressed
    Total Views: 615
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1097

       in response to "i always knew..." written by Demon_666

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotstruth revealeddots

    you say you care but dont show
    the love that i would need the most
    you ask what she has that you dont
    but this is the first we talked
    since we died inside
    i saw nothing that shows you care
    i wish you acted on how you felt
    since i have seen you fly in air
    your wings are seen only by me
    and you disagree with yourself
    but never would you even anger
    to show you cared about us
    maybe thats why i need someone else
    i tried my best to win your love
    but no matter whati did it wasnt enough
    so little credit for what i do
    half the time you dont know what it is i do for you
    when suspicion starts in your head
    throws suspicion on my bed
    i wish you knew how i felt
    but no sorrows greater then when we fell
    i asked you most these nights
    to come and save my life
    but nothing you showed looked like love
    i wish you would love with the action youve done
    death plays a beautiful hymn
    if only you tried to show your love for him

    Submitted on 2008-12-26 07:00:33     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      WOW! I like this alot! Thanks for taking the time to read mine let alone write a response!
    | Posted on 2008-12-26 00:00:00 | by Demon__666 | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Shi written by ShyOne
    The Unicorn written by BlazeFlamme
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (1) written by endlessgame23
    Records I written by Raphael
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (6) written by endlessgame23
    Comme un lion en avril written by Outlaw
    Carry written by saartha
    Love written by saartha
    Deep Into A World Of Despair written by DeathTone
    // Seasonal Song written by ShadowParadox
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (3) written by endlessgame23
    i've missed written by mysalvation
    Birds of a Feather written by poetotoe
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth written by endlessgame23
    The Poems Death written by Mepoduo
    Suffer The Children written by poetotoe
    Life is moments written by Ramneet
    Things They (Don't) Say written by TheStillSilence
    To the Artist written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Shut Up written by annie0888
    Dream written by closetpoet
    prison written by ShyOne
    Across the bed written by expiring_touch
    The World written by jjd
    Physician, Heal Thyself written by WriteSomething
    Still Perfectly Flawed written by armand
    mimicry written by expiring_touch
    phantom limbs written by expiring_touch
    I, Plutarch written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Florida's Autumn Solstice written by closetpoet




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]