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    dots Submission Name: submissiondots

    Author: isaiahc4
    ASL Info:    26/M/TX
    Elite Ratio:    3.26 - 120/198/62
    Words: 105
    Class/Type: Poetry/Depressed
    Total Views: 513
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 687


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.


    I've held it all inside me
    I've kept it all from spilling out.
    I've punched the walls and broken things
    held inside my every doubt.

    I've let the turmoil not be seen
    kept a smile on my face.
    while my life keeps taking things
    from me which I cannot replace.

    everythings been burried deep
    I've fought so hard to keep there.
    tried to keep you from seeing
    though in reality you don't care.

    you can't see my world is crumbling
    nor the tears I hold inside.
    you will never have to see
    the things that I have chose to hide.

    Submitted on 2008-12-30 04:06:36     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      Hm. Interesting. I must say this write has definite depth to it. I honestly can say that I can relate to it. Which most times I find a good thing, in this however I find it a fault. I'm sorry to read that you're going through this. All that I can say is that I hope it improves for you. I do have some critiques for you. I know you requested thoughts, but... well, hopefully you will understand. Just give it some punctuation for emphasis. It's a good write, but go for great. I know that is probably not anywhere on your list of things to do right now, but I believe you can do it. Good write. Keep up the expressions, its good to let things out sometimes. Once again... hope things get better. Have a nice night.
    | Posted on 2008-12-30 00:00:00 | by night_angel | [ Reply to This ]

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