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    dots Submission Name: untitleddots

    Author: brokensmile
    Elite Ratio:    3.1 - 241/326/148
    Words: 82
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 591
    Average Vote:    5.0000
    Bytes: 605


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.


    I repeat myself
    And in this
    comfort swells
    beneath a bad wound
    a closed infection

    Help me
    I have a fever
    I am convulsing
    I am shouting
    I am silent
    I am cold

    I am within

    this belief
    between illusion
    and reality

    Suffering into love
    happiness like a stinging needle
    I am so still
    These reactions
    and these words

    are so young
    are so incomplete
    I repeat myself.

    help me.

    Submitted on 2009-01-01 23:11:31     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      This has great promise! It adresses the ache that we all have, because there is always hurt, even behind the smile.

    This excellent verse needs some work, but has great power and promise because it literally speaks to the human psyche and soul!

    I have a sugesstion for title: "Help Me"?

    Nice work!
    | Posted on 2009-01-03 00:00:00 | by Ron Cole | [ Reply to This ]
      I would help. Your words are representing the chaos you are feeling and in that you find that love and romance cannot cease the disorder and ease the pain. But there is hope and there will always be hope. Remember this.
    | Posted on 2009-01-02 00:00:00 | by Doublefeather | [ Reply to This ]

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