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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Mr Woolfedots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: dax
    ASL Info:    35 male BC Canada
    Elite Ratio:    4.87 - 127/127/42
    Words: 76
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 47
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 543



    Description:
       inspired by Virginia Woolfe


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsMr Woolfedots
    -------------------------------------------


    Bathed in a soft luminescence
    burning the midnight oil,
    the faint kitchen clocks rhythm
    ticks away like a mechanical heart.
    As the state of Virginia on my mind,
    eclipses all other thought,
    weighing like a stone in a pocket
    of my melancholy mind.
    My antagonistic heart stirs in me
    the realization that many a time,
    dreams have waded deeply into lifes waters
    overcome by the undertow of troubles
    silently slipping beneath to vanish
    with resigned dignity.




    Submitted on 2009-01-02 18:09:37     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Y'know
    I first ame on this site to help people out with their writing if I could.
    This kind of work ruins that for me.

    I'd say I loved it but that would be too cliché and boring
    so I''l try to say it some other way.
    The gentle rhythm here blends so nicely with the words you used that I could feel myself in your characters place, I could hear..no.. feel the clock ticking in my head and an oppressive cloudiness muffling each tick.
    The lines
    "weighing like a stone in a pocket
    of my melancholy mind"
    are one of those that would nor should ever be thought of but fit so perfectly and portray their meaning more than any conventional phrases.

    Oh hell, it sounds like I'm arse kissing gut I really aren't, I mean this drivel.

    I'd like to criticize but I can't so instead I will ask one question that is on my mind.
    I read the second last line with a pause before "to vanish" to me it seems to fit in well that way.
    Am I reading it wrong or is it just up to the reader?
    | Posted on 2009-01-07 00:00:00 | by Localfreak | [ Reply to This ]



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    January 10 07
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