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    dots Submission Name: the flesh of your turquoise dots

    Author: blackbird
    ASL Info:    31/male/reykjavik iceland
    Elite Ratio:    2.35 - 194/328/300
    Words: 244
    Class/Type: Poetry/Longing
    Total Views: 804
    Average Vote:    5.0000
    Bytes: 1654


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsthe flesh of your turquoise dots

    clinging to visions of some ancient mexican summer,
    aware of the herbs,
    the spices of your body,
    aware that all things taste
    in a way unto themselves like tiny collapses,
    explosions that explode in sequence,
    i lose myself describing flowers,
    the richness of freshly drawn soil,
    the leaves that rush forward
    where i've swept back
    & you.

    i fall into the small moments
    where the darkness of melodies live,
    thumping out some lucid memory
    that mirrors the flesh of your turquoise,
    the pulse that sends the air shimmering,
    the glistering echo of the ocean inside us
    pulling us towards lost coastlines,
    tugging at our clothes
    until we're nude in the orange wind
    & chewing on stars from open mouths
    where none of the light gets in,
    where the skin remembers everything
    as if we were children that never learned
    not to put our fingers where the flame begins.

    if i'm falling,
    hold on to what i'm becoming
    so that we might float together in this way
    through this world that spins because i'm near you,
    through these poems that seem to have a mind of their own
    amongst the puzzles of your body
    & your lips that seem to linger though they're missing
    in the blueness of the early light that wakes me
    to these thoughts of you.
    & you seem to haunt me,
    even in my unlived futures,
    like a fog
    that rests lightly over everything i know.

    Submitted on 2009-01-05 05:08:48     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
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    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      Hey there Merlo; you're probably not that big on comments, as is evident in your ratio. I haven't been active for quite some time myself. But I cannot help but to consider it an injustice that no one ever seems to comment on your work.

    You seem to have an enviable command of words; your images are bizarre, but stunning, and your train of thought is extraordinarily creative. My English teacher always complains about people who write when they're high or drunk and think it sounds really cool when it sounds really dumb; but your stuff is every bit as awesome as I think I sound at midnight under the influence of cough drops. If that makes sense.....

    It's difficult to criticize your work, because the stuff that I might criticize in other writing is what makes yours brilliant. I honestly like it just the way it is.

    Well, I've had my gushy say. I thought perhaps you were in need of a little more appreciation. I'll be going now; I wish you happy writing and ruminating in Iceland.
    | Posted on 2009-03-17 00:00:00 | by Jeniffer | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

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    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

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